Jacque Watkins

finding grace through the mud

Day 26: Forgiving Yourself Is a Long Process

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This is Day 26 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 26 For years, my soul navigated an undercurrent of shame. Forgiving myself was like weaving through a corn maze in autumn—I knew it was possible to get through, but found dead ends at every turn. With planted maze […]

Day 25: {Scripture and Song} God Is Greater Than Your Heart

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This is Day 25 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 25 Each Sunday of this 31 day series, it is my desire to gather and pause the weight of this conversation long enough to open up our clenched and controlling fists, turn our cupped hands up, and surrender our […]

Day 24: Humble Repentance Brings Restoration

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  This is Day 24 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 24 I remember sitting in the car in the church parking lot the day after my confession. In the fresh rawness of the crisis, we’d come to church to receive pastoral counseling. My husband went first, while […]

Day 23: Life Will Change for Your Children

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  This is Day 23 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 23 I hated the exchange. It happened every Sunday night in the Thrifty parking lot. I’d scoop Matt up into my arms and carry him to the car. And as we walked, he’d arch his back and […]

Day 21: You Will Lose Relationships

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This is Day 21 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 21 In the weeks after my confession, all my relationships changed. At some level, I expected it to happen, but hadn’t anticipated the emotional loss it would add to my crisis. I’d never lacked for friends, and as a pastor’s wife, I was […]

Day 20: Guilt Is Abundant and Shame Lingers

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This is Day 20 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 20 Before an affair, you need to know there will be guilt and there will be shame. Abundant guilt. And suffocating shame. For me, guilt was most abundant when I was living a double life. I would escape […]

Day 19: Eventually Everyone Will Know

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This is Day 19 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 19 I sat in my living room that Sunday afternoon and asked my husband to sit down so we could talk. Our three-year-old son had just left to spend a week at Grandma’s house and we were now […]

Day 18: {Scripture and Song} You’re Not Guilty Anymore

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This is Day 18 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 18 Each Sunday of this 31 day series, it is my desire to gather and pause the weight of this conversation long enough to open up our clenched and controlling fists, turn our cupped hands up, and surrender our […]

Day 17: Your Heart Will Become Hardened

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This is Day 17 in the series “31 Days: What You Should Know Before An Affair“ Day 17 As the affair went on in secrecy, my heart grew more hardened with each passing day. The truth is, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I wanted what I wanted. What started as a single thought […]