Welcome to episode 054 of Mud Stories!
Mud Stories is a podcast dedicated to bringing you inspiration in your muddiest moments, hope to make it through your mud, and encouragement for you to know, you are not alone.
In today’s episode I’m talking with Amber C. Haines, blogger, writer, and author of her very first book entitled, Wild in the Hollow: On Chasing Desire and Finding the Broken Way Home.
Online, Amber writes about mothering boys and keeping faith from the perspective of a Christian woman who’s had an abortion and an affair. She loves to tell a story, and she loves to speak and write about the church and the power of weakness and forgiveness.
Amber’s greatest desire is to encourage others in their creative endeavors and spiritual gifting, and also in their pursuit of the Kingdom of God in their weakness.
In this episode Amber shares about:
- How she always wanted to be a “good girl”
- Her rebellious young life including promiscuity, drug addiction, abortion, and an affair
- And how she met God in her brokenness again and again
Amber discusses:
- Her discouragement in, and future hope for, the church
- Shame–the importance of letting it go, and some practical ways to help
- How shame is often at the root of our unforgiveness
- The importance of doing forgiveness work toward ourselves and others
- And the rescue, redemption, and intimacy that awaits us all because of Christ
Amber shares with raw transparency and has written one of the most marvelous books I’ve read in a long time. Truly. May your heart be encouraged and may you throw off your shame, feel God’s love, and walk a little lighter today.
Enjoy!
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SCRIPTURE:
…let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame… Hebrews 12:1-2 (ESV)
CONNECT with Amber:
Website:
- Amber’s website: www.amberchaines.com
- Amber’s book: Wild in the Hollow
SOCIAL MEDIA:
LINKS:
- Wild in the Hollow: On Chasing Desire and Finding the Broken Way Home
, by Amber C. Haines
- Read Chapter 1 Free
{To view video trailer of Amber’s book, Wild in the Hollow, click HERE}
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Beautiful. I have so many parts to my story I haven’t yet been brave enough to share. I am in awe of people like you and Amber who have such transparent hearts.
Nell
And may our transparent hearts, including yours sweet Nell, lead others not to our stories, but to seeing the work of Christ in them…our stories always pointing to how He leaves NOTHING unredeemed. Nothing. xo
Amen, friend.
Ms. Watkins, Amber Haines hit on something and made a statement that is tragically not dealt with when it comes to with most of the women you interview.
Specifically (and to her credit) she pointed out that the other man that she had the affair with was not better than her husband and that she was not trying to replace him. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL for the man to hear. Women simply just never understand that affairs (even emotional affairs) cut to the very core of our being in deeper and more painful and confidence-crushing ways that women can never fathom.
WHEN MEN ARE CHEATED ON, THEY THINK THAT IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE INADEQUATE AND INFERIOR. Otherwise, their wife would have never engaged in the affair in the first place. In short, it completely emasculates them. Even if he and his wife “repair” the marriage, he still feels that there was (and is) something inadequate about him.
(Yes, it’s bad whether or a man or woman has the affair), but to women’s credit, it does not completely take away from them their entire confidence and identity as a feminine woman. For a man however, when his wife gives herself to another (even emotionally) it literally takes away his self worth and sense of masculine identity. The feeling and belief of being the only person that is accessible to the woman they love is the most important, esteem-building and affirming feeling that a woman can give their man. When it’s taken away from him, he reasonably questions why someone else was “better” than him that she would cheat.
PLEASE Ms. Watkins, have the women that you interview address this fact that the other man was never more attractive, appealing, or “more of a man” to them than their husband, (even during the affair). Men that have been devastated by affairs will spend the rest of their lives feeling that there is something inadequate about them. The ABSOLUTELY NEED to be able to hear that from her during and after the reconciliation and marriage repair.