Failure is never as final as not trying at all.
Over one year ago, I set out on a journey with some local in-real-life friends. We joined Ann in memorizing the Sermon on the Mount, but instead of starting in January, we started together at Easter.
It was the largest scripture memory project I’d ever undertaken, and I won’t lie, it overwhelmed me.
I printed out my cards, glued them to my Moleskine book, and carried it with me at all times, everywhere I went.
Week after week I memorized the words, read commentaries, meditated on concepts, and wrote about all I learned. The kids quizzed me in the car, checking me off as I recited each verse. My understanding of the scriptures increased, and in deep and profound ways, the words of Jesus changed me.
But halfway through, I fell behind.
Between training for a half-marathon, the arrival of fall, and the beginning of another homeschooling year, I lost momentum. I became overwhelmed. My friends passed me by as discouragement smothered me. I stopped memorizing. And I stopped writing.
The shame flew in and the guilt pressed in like a vice. And I was embarrassed and disappointed I failed.
In January, when Ann announced she’d be leading The Romans Project this year, I spent several weeks trying to decide what to do. I failed at Romans 8. I failed at the Sermon on the Mount. And I wondered if I had any business starting something new when I never finished the memory work I started. I was torn, and I procrastinated in deciding.
Then, Easter weekend, my local Sermon-on-the-Mount friends finished their year-long project, and they all went to dinner to celebrate their accomplishment. I was so sad to have failed to finish, for many reasons.
I have experienced how much richer life is when I’m memorizing scripture. Because in order to learn the verses, I focus on His words and meditate on them all day long. And just like Ann says, the words I know by heart will be what my heart really knows.
I’m beginning something new … a resurrection of sorts.
Because failure is never as final as not trying at all.
I’m beginning new with my Sermon-on-the-Mount friends. We are joining Ann and Liz, in The Romans Project, setting out to hide God’s word in our hearts within community. And our daily time will become our quiet time wherever we are.
And you know what? I may fail. And if I do, it certainly won’t be the first time. But I’m getting up anyway and I’m starting again.
I know each word hidden in my heart, is one more step away from the failure I fear.
And I. will. not. be afraid.
Won’t you join me?
When have you felt like you failed?
What helped you get up and try again?
*Linking with Do Not Depart, Laura at Playdates, Ann at Walk With Him Wednesdays and Jennifer at Tell His Story
Yay for you! I believe this post will be very encouraging to many because often more people quit than finish a memory project. Yet getting up again (or even changing races) is always a victory. Thanks for linking at Do Not Depart; I’ll link this to our Hide His Word Facebook page.
Jacque–I’ve been camping in Psalm 71 with the Do not Depart-ers and have felt like writing a post called ‘Do NOT memorize Scripture’–not because we shouldn’t–God’s Word is our life, but because EVEN IF WE DON’T MEMORIZE it, soaking in it daily, hearing ourselves repeat even two verses is like taking a drink of living water….. Your lines are perfect, “Failure is never as final as not trying at all.” Amen!
Jacque, thank you for your beautiful post. It really touched me. In answer to your question, feeling like a failure is my battleground. I recently made the hard decision to close the door on my small greeting card and gift business, which broke my heart. I love designing but I’m just not cut out for business. But over the last year, God has been planting a new thing within me, writing for Him. I am filled with our Saviour’s gift of hope, looking forward to where our Lord will be taking me.
Blessings,
Such an encouraging post, Jacque. Last year I memorized the book of James and it was hard work! When the Romans project came along, I felt the need for a break. I’m not sure I get as much out of memorizing such large chunks at a time…still meditating on that. It was wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but I think I’m ready to take a smaller portion deeper. I’m cheering for you!
Oh Jacque. This is so good. How often have I not tried something, because I feared failing? Far, far too often.
I am very behind on my Romans memory verses, but I am still in it. Thanks for the motivation to keep moving forward. Grateful for you.
Jacque,
Due to a book I’ve been reading I think I’m going to memorize the Sermon on the Mount with my mom and sister. Looking forward to getting kingdom living in my heart and mind.
Perhaps you consider this a failure because you didn’t memorize ALL the scripture. But you were successful in memorizing and meditating on scripture. Good for you! I wish you the best on your next memorization project!