I wear it hoping that it will become true of me … LOVE Jn 13:35.
That somehow the feel of it around my neck will make me mindful and aware.
That the clanking of the pearl against the metal will help me remember.
And it isn’t even 10am and I glance over to see one child hitting another and the other fighting back. Have I been such a poor model that their instinctual reaction is to just cave to anger and go with their flesh? Did it not matter? The words from Matthew 5 that they’ve hidden in their hearts over these weeks, the words we’ve been learning together?
And the crazy thing is, when I ask, they can recite them. They haven’t forgotten…
Blessed are the peacemakers…
Blessed are you when others revile you…
…everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment…
Yet though they can say the words, it’s obvious they haven’t sunk in–haven’t soaked the soil of their hearts.
And my choice is right here before me, because their actions beg for correction.
And it’s the biggest test of all when no one is watching. When it’s just me and them—these children who are part of me, who’ve inherited more than just skin and flesh.
And inside, my heart sinks, and I feel defeat because their actions remind me how I fail too. Even the chain around my neck doesn’t prevent my failure.
It is my daily battle to love.
I bend to eye level and we discuss their fight. They know they were wrong and hang their heads as I talk, and their eyes show me they’ve heard it before, that they already know.
I explain and teach how it’s not natural to return kindness when wronged, not easy to be slow to anger, not instinctual to just love.
But He has called us to love. When we deserved death, He died in our place. And when we were unlovable, He loved us first.
This. This is the daily hill I climb…
To administer justice with wisdom.
To provide instruction with kindness.
To give grace in the right moments and extend mercy too.
And most of all, in the midst of it all, to love as He loves.
John 13:35 (ESV) By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
I’ve been given these mama moments to practice loving. And oh how many chances I have every single day! Times to practice cultivating a love like His … a love that will mark me as His.
Oh how I want to grow. To seize my flesh, to halt my nature, to pause and consider and love instead. Because I want to be known as His disciple, and I want my children to be known as His disciples too.
May this chain I wear remind me to what I am called. To love.
To simply love one another.
And because of that, to be known as His.
John 15:12 (ESV) This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
In which circumstance are you most challenged to love?
How do you overcome?
**Linking with Denise in Bloom, Women Living Well, Grace at Home, Thought Provoking Thursday
Sounds like my kids. 🙂 It is so true, though, that we can know the words in our minds, but it still takes time for that seed to germinate and cultivate a Christ-likeness in us. I’m so thankful that His Word never returns void. And I’m so glad to be part of this pilgrimage with you, my friend.
Yes…our kids {sigh} God’s tool to refine us! Thank you for your friendship, a pilgrimage indeed!!
I find that one moment I am seeing my kids flesh and how easy they forget the things I have been trying to teach them, to show them through God’s word and the next moment I find that I am the one convicted by their show of grace and forgiveness and obedience. It’s such a hard thing to both instruct and be instructed. God has used my kids to reveal both His father’s heart toward me as well as convict me when I am falling short. I love your heart for Him and for your children. Beautiful mama.
Isn’t it amazing how God does that? Thank you for your sweet words…hoping you have a wonderful day 🙂
Beautiful writing and sharing. Thanks!
It’s so difficult to have this really sink in for our children, isn’t it?
Hi Jacque! As an elder in our church and a member of Renovare’s Ministry Team and Board, I think often of what it means not only to be a Christian but also to be in leadership in a Christian ministry. I’m drawn back to John 13 over and over. Combine this scripture with I Corinthians 13 and there’s no doubt–without love, nothing that we do counts for much of anything. Thank you for this wonderful post!
Thank you for the reminder to love even when it’s not easy. It IS what we’re called to do!
Thanks so much for joining Grace at Home!
Thank you for the heartfelt post!
Oh my! You’ve hit the nail on the head. I struggle in similar ways. Thanks so much for taking the time to share with the Scripture verses pointing us to the Way.
You have given me a real tool in your words “not natural to return kindness when wronged…” This is something I think of but have never been able to find the right words for. Thank you!