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She didn’t know she was talking about me. She didn’t realize as she complained and all the rest laughed and sympathized, that she was complaining about me –that she was irritated and annoyed by me.
And what seemed to them, to be a passing critique of a stranger, cut my heart deep and knocked the wind out of me. And as I stood in the same space, talking to another, I set my food down. A sick-like feeling began to turn my stomach–her cutting words killing the hope I had of being welcomed and fitting in.
The rest of the evening drug on, and I endured it instead of enjoying it. It became an evening with a dark cloud hanging overhead, full of uncomfortable moments and awkward interactions. It was a difficult two hours for me.
And as I’ve reflected on the evening, isn’t it just like Him in His goodness to use this pain to refine me. To use it for good to teach and remind me how very powerful words can be, and how much damage they can cause.
And I never want to cause this pain to another.
So I’m resolving anew, in moments where I’m tempted to complain or use negativity–tempted to speak cutting words or talk about another..
May I be mindful that I never know who may be present.
May I remember that I have no idea who may be listening or overhearing my words.
And may I speak only what is good and lovely, because I would never want someone to feel like this.
And I’m sure I needed the reminding because I undoubtedly have caused this kind of pain by my words at one time or another. And I long to be different. I long for the words of my mouth to always bow and bend to the standard of God’s Word. For them to be good and true, seasoned with salt, and full of love and grace, always benefitting those who hear them.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
And so today I’m praying for us all the words of the Psalmist…
Psalm 19:14 (ESV) Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.
Have you ever been wounded by cutting words?
Have your words ever wounded another?
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What you say is so true, and I know I have said words that hurt other people. I have 3 girls, and 2 of them have special needs. One has Down syndrome and one has Cerebral Palsy. you have no idea how often people use the word “retarded” in their every day conversation. it hurts! it hurts me, my family, my girls. I am reminded, however, that how I respond to that will either show God’s mercy, or not. It challenges me to forgive, and I remind myself that I too, sometimes have a big mouth!
When you get a chance stop by and say hi.
Thank you for your words…and it does hurt, even if unintentional. May we all give grace and mercy to others, just as we have received from God! I’m with you on that!
I don’t think I have intentionally said something to hurt someone, but unintentionally, it’s a different story. Thanks for the reminder that we need to be intentional with our words and sensitive to who will hear us (remembering that God hears all we say and even think about others).
Great reminder today, friend! I find the thing I most struggle with is saying too much…this may cause the listener to be uncomfortable with me in the future or do view me differently. You know, as a pastor’s wife, I can’t afford to be doing this anyway! and so I learn and stumble and sometimes fall flat on my face…I’m learning with you! You’re beautiful!
What a painful, yet much-needed reminder for all of us. I’m so sorry it happened, but thank you for sharing and allowing us the opportunity to see your heart and learn from your experience. It’s so easy to hurt and to be hurt, as there is so much power in the tongue! Blessings & love–