When You Wonder if He Can Use YOU

April 8, 2013 by 13 Comments

Starbuckscup

I have a confession to make. I don’t drink coffee, but I am addicted to Starbucks.

I know. It’s a problem. And I’m planning to deal with it, really I am.

It’s just that the creamy spice of the Chai tea latte has won my heart … a venti-6-pump-3-splenda-no-water-no-foam-extra-hot Chai tea latte, to be exact. And even though that order sounds TOTALLY high maintenance, the baristas assure me it’s easy compared to some of the drinks they‘re asked to make. I’m not sure if they’re just saying that to make me feel better, but I’m choosing to believe them.

This problem is so serious that a few weeks ago, when my friend was coming over to visit, she texted me to ask the high-maintenance-details of my drink, so as not to get it wrong when she brought it to me. But I didn’t see her text in time.

By the time I answered her, she was already halfway to my house with the drink in tow … the drink she got perfectly right because the baristas knew exactly how to make it when she told them it was for me! Ugh. Embarrassing, right? I know. I know.

So anyway, as I continued my conversations with the Lord, begging Him to use me in whatever ways He sees fit, I began frequenting a new Starbucks. It opened right near my house with a drive through and everything. A real Starbucks, not just the inside-the-grocery-store-kind. And I’ve come to know most of the baristas by name, and they know me too, making me feel so welcomed each day.

One morning back in December, as I was using my gold card to pay, I felt a very strong impression to give the barista my business blogging card. Immediately I wondered whose bright idea that was. I didn’t miss a beat in beginning my internal arguing faster than an auctioneer could ask for a price … besides, I didn’t even think I had a card with me. But as I waited for my drink, I looked in my wallet, and wouldn’t you know, I had just one card with me? One. Hmmm.

The arguing continued…

“If I give her a card then she’ll know my story …

I’ll no longer be obscure and unknown …

besides, she’ll think I’m so silly,

And what could she possibly say back anyway?”

But as I continued to wait, the impression wouldn’t go away.

I picked up my drink, added some half and half (because that makes all things better), and opened the door to leave. But as my hand touched the handle it screamed in my heart loud and clear…

“So … are you going to obey?

I’m asking you to give her the card.

Will you get past being uncomfortable and do it anyway?”

I stopped dead in my tracks, let go of the door, and turning around, I walked straight to her. I apologized for sounding weird, told her I was a blogger and that I wanted her to have my card. And I couldn’t believe the warmth of her genuine response.

She smiled wide and without skipping a beat, couldn’t believe it at all. She told me how she was a writer too and how her and a friend have been wanting to learn how to write better. She couldn’t have been more thankful and excited to have received my card.

Wow. Only God. Who would have known?

Over two months went by and I continued to see the Starbucks baristas there. And one morning as I exited the store and walked back to my car, I saw her wheeling the trash cans back from the dumpster, this barista to whom I’d given my card–the one I’d discovered was the manager of the store. She said hi to me, called me by name and asked if she could talk to me.

I grew a bit nervous, wondering what it could be, and then she simply asked for more cards, saying she wanted to give them to some of the other baristas inside … to the other baristas! I opened the car, retrieved some cards, and handed them to her. No questions, no comments, she just wanted more cards, and I handed them over with a smile.

I still don’t know any more than that, and I may never.

But one thing I do know, God wants to use us.

He wants to use you and He wants to use me.

He wants to work and move through us, as we sense His Holy Spirit and are surrendered His way.

I’ve heard some say they don’t think God intimately interacts with us, or that we can experience Him in real and practical ways. They refuse to believe God would use us for His purpose and for the growth of our own faith.

But I wholeheartedly disagree.

Could it actually be that we miss intimate interactions with Him because we are not actively looking for Him in our everyday moments?

Not listening in for His still small voice?

And not really willing to obey anyway? Perhaps because we’d be embarrassed and feel awkward and it’d be just more uncomfortable than we’re willing to take.

I don’t know what will come of my blogging-card baristas, but I do know as I continue to see them every day (ahem!) I’m praying for them.

Praying that God would use this mercy-and-grace space to help them know how much He loves them.

Praying they’d know there’s nothing that can separate them from His love … nothing they’ve done and nothing they’ve failed to do.

And I’m continuing to pray for each of our hearts as well … that we would not be too deaf to hear His voice, too proud to respond to His call, or too busy to be part of His story.

The story He wants to weave in and through us, using our very lives that He may be glorified through us. What a gift. And I’m so very thankful.

What has God asked you to do?

What’s your favorite Starbucks drink?

 

Join in the Joy Dare 2013 as we give thanks for all things. Continuing to count the gifts God gives and the thousands of ways He loves with Ann and her beautiful community…

Old gospel songs

New spring growth

Rose buds standing tall

Yellow flowers on the tree

Tulips in the sun

Brushing long hair

Bruise on a forehead

A new first loose tooth

Late nights writing

Worship in community

Twitter friends

Facebook messages

Co-op learning

A project turned in

A new BLAST beginning

Cabin memories

Snow melting on pine needles

Cool breezes blowing in

Passion iced tea

Late Friday dates

Talking into the night

His blood being enough

Believers to work with

Romans 1:1-6

Called to belong to Him

*Linking with The Better Mom, Playdates, Michelle & Jennifer
Filed Under: Character, Faith, Gratitude, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: ,



When Our Heart Aches, He Meets Us Even There

September 23, 2012 by 15 Comments

I cry the ugly cry and can hardly type through the blur. My heart is aching and I know the ache is nothing compared with what some others may be facing. But my tears only know my ache, the reality of my situation, and there’s nothing more real than my very own heart.

I’m alone, yet I know God is here.

I’ve heard people say that Jesus is all we need, and while ideally this is true, He doesn’t have skin on, and He created us for each other too. And how I long for the embrace of real people to hold my heart and reassure me that everything’s going to be okay.

Maybe you’ve had these moments too … late night moments when you’re all alone and the weight of reality settles in like a heavy cloud. Where you’re overwhelmed and not sure what to do next. When you long for a friend to talk to.

Me too, friend, me too.

How is it we can know so many people, yet still feel so alone?

How is it possible to be lonely amidst so many acquaintances?

I watched the women talk on Sunday, so animated and engaged. They chatted and laughed and were full of joy. I stared and wished I had that too. But the reality is, I don’t.

I walk the church campus and hear lots of greetings. People say hi and even ask how I’m doing, but there’s no time to stop and share. Only time to say something to fill the moment–a way of making passing conversation. They asked, but I’m not sure they really wanted to know.

Acquaintances.

I’ve grown weary of acquaintances.

People I’ve known in one capacity or another, sometimes closely, sometimes at a distance.

People who say they appreciate me and love me, but all of us with lives too busy to offer face to face time with one another.

Too wrapped up in our own schedules to offer any I’m-coming-over-to-sit-with-you-on-your-couch-to-just-talk time.

It hurts.

And I’m thinking I’m not alone.

And while it’s true God created us for fellowship with one another, it’s also true that others can’t meet all our needs. We’re designed with an empty place in our hearts only He can fill. And times alone, without others as a distraction, bring us to the end of ourselves and make us fully dependent on Him.

And as we turn to Him, He meets us in that place.

I reflect and remember words I’ve written before…

Feelings are not the dictators of my reality.

The sacrifice of giving thanks brings joy.

The sacrifice of praise lifts the spirit of heaviness.

And is it possible He’s giving me this season to lean into Him … to turn to Him, in a new and passionate way?

So I run to His Word to replace my feelings with His truth.

I make my list of thanks—because everything is from Him. And everything is a gift.

And I put on Pandora and worship and praise Him. Because no matter what my heart feels, He is worthy of my praise. I sing. All alone, I sing. Even if all that I can sing is a broken hallelujah.

Because no matter what we’re feeling, no matter what we’re facing, he is in total control and He is good.

He sees.

He knows.

And He meets us even there.

In these low places and in these desperate moments.

And He is enough.

Jacque

 

Have you ached for relationship too?

How has God met you, even in those moments?

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1621-1635} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with September’s printable.

#1621 Air conditioning on hot muggy days

#1622 A house cleaned by my husband and kids

#1623 Women of Faith in Anaheim

#1624 Help to live my God-sized dream

#1625 Job loss and joy in suffering

#1626 Extra shifts to help meet the budget

#1627 Time with my parents

#1628 A 12 mile-run with my sister

#1629 A day at the fair with the kids

#1630 Leading hymns and singing old songs

#1631 Chicken pot pie, connection, and prayer

#1632 Lunch with an almost-grown son

#1633 Kids swimming every day

#1634 The growing joy of processing life through writing

#1635 How He loves me and meets me even there

 

*Linking with Playdates and The Better Mom
Filed Under: Adversity, Brokenness, Character, Devotional, Faith, Friendship, Gratitude, Grief & Suffering, Inspirational Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,



How to Be Still and Trust, Even In the Pain

September 10, 2012 by 8 Comments

He is still and he trusts me and looks up at me like I’m the love of his life. And how can I resist that smile? With those steel-blue eyes and small gap between his teeth. And I’ve been falling for him since my eyes first met him that January morning over six full years ago.

He’s calm and sweet and full of passion—an artistic-instead-of-athletic type guy and he hugs me and says he’s never getting married. With excitement I hug him even tighter and whisper how I love him the most of all, with my lips close in and almost touching his ear. And I’m smitten and swell with living in the now of this moment.

And isn’t God smitten with me in the now of the moment and every moment?

And doesn’t He swell with a love for me that never ends?

He walks in the oral surgeon’s office with a bold determination. The frenulum has to be released so the front two teeth can grow in close, without a permanent gap.

And it’s going to hurt.

He knows.

But it’s best, because there’s a bigger purpose for it all.

And could it be that sometimes pain really is the only way through to what’s best for us?

Pain. Of all things?

Hurting and anguishing and struggling through?

We sit together and wait. And we wait some more.

And sometimes we don’t know the pain is coming … but sometimes we do. And isn’t it such a challenge when we do?

But isn’t He with us even as we wait … with us while we wait for Him to lead us right straight through?

He watches tv and I can tell there’s no anxiety anywhere to be found. He trusts me. He remembers my explanation of what’s going to happen. He follows my directions because he’s convinced I know best. And we gaze at one another and just stare with that I’m-in-love-with-you look and we don’t need any words at all.

And sometimes isn’t trust best displayed by being still … being still and knowing He is God?

Remembering His promises. Gazing with eyes fixed on Him, focused and ready to follow?

He stands with confidence as they take the x-rays and chats with the nurse while we wait for the surgeon. Because he’s captivating like that—a natural charmer, sure to win the heart of any sweet girl when he’s grown. And I’m the first … the first heart he’s won, and the moments of his gaze engulf me with emotions only a mama can know.

And isn’t it true how God has a depth of love for me that only He knows?

An unfathomable love that compelled Him to create me in His image and send His son to bridge the gap between us?

A captivating love that engulfs me, and encircles me, and never ever ends?

I wait as the procedure is done, and it’s not too long before they call me back. His gauze-filled mouth smiles when I enter. And the nurse brags how he’s the best patient they’ve ever had, making his eyes glimmer even more.

We wheel out to the car. And he asks what will happen next, and what the medicine is for.

And as I explain each thing, we slowly drive away, him nodding in understanding and willing compliance all the way home. Still and trusting. Unsure of what’s ahead, but completely sure of who’s driving him home.

May I be still too, and trust where He takes me.

Trust that even pain may be the best thing for my good,

And may I remember and know how He’s the one driving me all the way home.

 

 

What is your biggest challenge in trusting God?

What painful experience have  you had that makes it harder to be still and trust Him?

 

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1606-1620} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with September’s printable.

#1606 Deep & significant talks with a growing-almost-adult son

#1607 The beginning of another chronological trip in the Word

#1608 A gift given with a God-prepared heart who received it…only He could have orchestrated that!

#1609 6-month dental check-ups completed for us all

#1610 The beginning of a new co-op year

#1611 A run with a friend

#1612 Ice cold water at the end of the 10th mile

#1613 Air conditioning

#1614 Kids cleaning the kitchen on their own

#1615 Date night with food, laughter, and reconnection

#1616 Soft sheets and comfy pajamas and fans at night

#1617 She Speaks CD’s full of wisdom

#1618 Summer lightening and thunder

#1619 Dinner made for me and brought to me

#1620 This love affair I have with Him that never ends

 

*Linking with Playdates and The Better Mom
Filed Under: Faith, Gratitude, Inspirational, Intimacy with God, Motherhood, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: , , , ,



Only God Can Change Tragedy Into Beauty

September 2, 2012 by 7 Comments

Only God can change tragedy into beauty. And it is only because of Him we can give thanks in everything, and by doing so find joy.

I first met her 2 years ago when she became my neighbor. I’m really not the bold and brazen type who randomly knocks on a door. And I’m certainly not a door-to-door evangelist, but that day something drew me there. As I drove by, I noticed her playing in the yard with her sweet little boy, and couldn’t shake the nagging feeling to go over and say hi—to walk over and invite her to our church’s Mom2Mom group.

I unloaded the kids and we walked back to her house, but they were no longer outside.

“Really Lord? Am I really supposed to knock on this door?”

Worried about looking weird or being rejected, I knocked anyway.

And what followed has been two years of heart-felt friendship, two years of joy.

She spent a year at our Mom2Mom table, connecting as only moms can.

A summer of group Bible study and discipleship, reading One Thousand Gifts, and our lives transforming by learning to give thanks in all things.

And she’s the one who gave it to me at the end of that discipleship summer … the plaque that gently reminds me:

In Everything Give Thanks

Because she believed it and purposed to live it, one day at a time. And that’s just the kind of friend she is, full of gifts with such meaning and purpose—a heart that loves with abandon and gives generously without holding back.

We spent months in our good morning girls group, with countless emails and several brunches , celebrating the end of each session together.

And then another year sitting at her Mom2Mom table, inspired by the leader she had become.

I’ve watched her husband grow stronger in Christ, their marriage strengthen, and their family grow with the birth of their third child last spring.

And it is this foundation of history and relationship that held tragedy last week.

My oldest daughter turned ten last Tuesday, and we’d gone to get donuts … a first-of-the-morning breakfast treat!

And then…

Then, it all happened so fast…

Them just arriving home from kindergarten drop-off,

Their suburban still in the driveway with its doors wide open,

And our car.

Our car slowly passing through, ready to round the corner and almost be home.

And then we felt it … like an out-of-place speed bump in the middle of the road.

And then we heard it … the loud screams from directly behind.

The tires gripped the asphalt as our car jerked to a stop, and it seemed my heart was about to stop too.

What had I hit?

Dear Lord … What had I done?

I never saw a thing. Never heard a thing.

My shaking hand flung open the heavy door right there in the middle of the street, and that’s when I saw her, hovered over him, calling his name and begging for him to get up.

We hit him, we accidentally hit him. Their beloved dog Ziggy there, just lying in the street.

And what words?… WHAT WORDS in this tragedy … when you’ve caused pain you can’t take back?

There are no words.

No words for a day you’ll never forget—the end of the first decade of your daughter’s life and the end of Ziggy’s altogether.

I cried and we hugged and the words “I’m sorry” just weren’t enough.

We celebrated her 10th birthday. And we prayed for them—for comfort and for peace.

And only God can transform anger and grief into grace and thanksgiving …

 Through Him, even in this, thanks can bring joy.

 

I text her the next day, and say again, those not-enough words …

I’m. So. Sorry.

And her text in return is full of grace—grace from Him…

Her caring for me.

Thankful for me.

Urging me not to worry,

And acknowledging that God is in ultimate control, even when we don’t understand.

And she typed her love for me in the XOXOXO’s at the end of her text–reassurance for my heart.

Her, in her grief, caring for me … this kind of love that can only be from Him.

All of this evidence of tragedy changed into beauty … and grace and thanksgiving bringing joy.

With continued prayers for my friend and her sweet family, and much thanks for the grace I’ve received,

 

 

How has God changed your tragedy into beauty?

How has thanks amidst tragedy brought you joy?

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1591-1605} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with September’s printable.

#1591 A husband who is smarter than me

#1592 Plenty of work at the hospital (397 deliveries last month!)

#1593 She Speaks CD’s to listen and learn

#1594 Surviving a solo 10-mile run

#1595 Completing all of Matthew 5

#1596 A new leadership opportunity with a new friend

#1597 More open doors to speaking … Yikes!

#1598 A second child now in the double-digits

#1599 Slumber party with 7 sweet 10-yr-old girls

#1600 Edible fruit basket from dear friends

#1601 A jacuzzi tub for tired muscles

#1602 An inspiring mentor and her life-giving words

#1603 A lovely new regional park to enjoy

#1604 A morning of worship and praise

#1605 Grace and mercy that is new, every. single. morning

 

*Linking with Playdates and The Better Mom
Filed Under: Community, Friendship, Gratitude, Grief & Suffering, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: , , , , , , ,



Why Feelings Are NOT the Dictators of Our Reality {There is Hope}

August 27, 2012 by 16 Comments

There are times in life that are stormy and dark, when every heart feels beyond hope.

Times when we’re overwhelmed by circumstances that startle and catch us off guard–circumstances that are right here, right now–dark and directly overhead.

No anticipation. No warning.

And we’re blinded by their presence and sideswiped by their consequences.

A lost job.

A dying friend.

A strained relationship.

A rebellious child.

A sick parent.

A lack of friends.

A rushed life.

A lonely heart.

And I get it.

I. know.

I SO understand. And I’m right here with you in the midst of this muck and grime of reality. And I wish it weren’t so. For me and for you.

But it is.

It’s what we’ve got.

Really, to be honest, it’s what He gave.

Because He knows, with His help, we can do this.

Because He sees beyond our limited vision …

How this will refine and remake and renew us like nothing else can.

He sees. And He knows.

It is so hard to grasp it though–so hard to feel right in the midst of this chaos.

Because it isn’t right. 

Feelings are not the dictators of our reality.

They can not determine what is true, nor can they decide what will be.

Our reality is, we are never beyond hope, never beyond grace, never beyond peace. And we are never beyond joy.

Because everything is from Him and through Him and to Him.

Everything is a gift. And although it may not feel like a gift, it’s not our feelings that get to decide.

For me, in the midst of this muck and grime of my own, I’m choosing today to acknowledge that I don’t really understand. To acknowledge that this stinks and how I’d rather not go through it at all.

But God stretches and strums, and our emptiness can sing when we choose to give a sacrifice of thanks. When we choose to die to self and acknowledge that our way may not be the best way.

So I’ll be the music and offer praise and today, I’ll give thanks anyway … give thanks for this it-doesn’t-feel-like-a-gift gift.

And as I do I’ll pick up His gift of joy.

Joy that transcends even this.

Will you join me?

 

 

 

Are you feeling beyond hope?

Is your heart struggling today?

What are you choosing to give thanks for anyway?

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1576-1590} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with August’s printable.

#1576 Long runs I never thought I could do

#1577 Parents praying over us

#1578 A better-than-ever first week of school

#1579 Becoming a speaker with anxious anticipation

#1580 Pinkberry yogurt on a hot day

#1581 Cooler weather and breezes

#1582 Memorizing Matthew 5

#1583 The Psalms and their messages to me

#1584 Summer swimming

#1585 An editable-pdf Homeschool Planner

#1586 Free Draw, Write, Now Printables

#1587 Medicine for her double ear infection

#1588 Cabin possibilities

#1589 Summer sunsets

#1590 How He’s been so faithful to me

 

*Linking with Playdates and The Better Mom
Photo Credit: Milks3, Flickr Creative Commons
Filed Under: Character, Faith, Gratitude, Inspirational, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,



How a Small Act of Being Kind Can Change Everything

June 18, 2012 by 12 Comments

Sometimes a random act of kindness can change everything.

I have to admit, this morning was rough. I sluggishly woke to the energetic banter of all four of them, and we were already late, as usual. I told them to get ready to go, and they nodded and scattered. And I counted on them to obey.

The littlest asked for two braids and I put them in, but as I was almost done, she cried and argued, insisting it was all wrong—that she had wanted pigtails instead. But we were late and I wasn’t in the mood. It’s always a negotiation with this baby of the family. She has so many opinions at age four! And her protesting went on and on, but I did not cave. Two braids it would be.

I gathered myself and descended the stairs, ready to load everyone up in the car. But apparently my oldest daughter had decided to ignore me and play in her pajamas instead of eating and getting ready. Awesome. Let’s just say my words to her were not full of patient instruction. That’s all you need to know.

My youngest son chose long-sleeves for this 90-degree day. So up the stairs I trekked to give him a short sleeve shirt that matched. And then he began to cry because we were leaving and he was hungry. But he too had chosen to play with his sister instead of get ready. Maybe a hungry stomach will help him remember to obey next time? Does that make me mean?

My oldest son protested against wearing a hat to protect his face from the sun, which I suppose sunscreen would have solved, but he protested about combing his hair too. So I informed him, a hat it would be. And I’m pretty sure under the brim there was some rolling of the eyes in silent protest too. I’m such an unreasonable mom, you know.

It’s hard to put in words and recreate these morning moments for you to really see, but suffice it to say I had choices too and I will admit I wasn’t in my most glorious form this morning.

I raised my voice a little too loud,

rolled my eyes a little too much,

and just plain felt like I was climbing a mountain just trying to do this mothering thing.

Uphill all the way.

I dropped off the two oldest at the park for their morning of activities, and continued on with the youngest two in tow.

And what does a discouraged mom decide to do? Go to Starbucks of course!

And no sooner do I reach the front of the line, than the barista with the headphone-thingy from the drive-through rushes over to the counter with a random debit card.

“The lady in the drive-thru wants to pay for your order…” she said.

And at first I’m not sure I hear her right. And that’s when I look over and see her, my sweet friend from church, sitting in her SUV with her three kids in tow.

And she smiles and waves and blesses my heart all at the same time.

She had no idea the kind of morning I’d had. No clue what I’d faced in the last hour.

But she had decided to do something. No strings attached. Without seeing a need, she just made a decision. She decided to give, in the way she knew how in that moment. And she blessed me.

And can you believe that her small act of being kind changed my day?

It did. It really did.

I already knew in my heart I was needing to get a hold of my attitude.

I knew I needed to put on the clothing of Colossians 3,

and the Fruit of Galatians 5.

But to be honest…I just wanted to loathe a bit longer in the pity of my situation, before forcing myself to die to my flesh and surrender to His way.

I was getting around to giving thanks … I was just putting it off a bit more.

How sad is that? I do this to myself. Why am I so slow to choose joy?

Can you relate?

But her gift, it catapulted me forward … jump-started my gratitude, and helped me in just the right way.

And we have that power, you and me.

We have been blessed to become the blessing, even in the tiniest ways.

You and I can make that kind of difference.

We really can!

How about we open our eyes and our hearts TODAY, and look for even the smallest way we can become the gift?

Because what may seem small to you, might just change everything for them.

 

 

 

Have you ever been the recipient of someone’s random act of kindness? How were you changed?

How has giving to someone else changed you?

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1486-1500} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with June’s printable.

#1486 A no-children weekend away in San Diego

#1487 The invitation to do a half-marathon in October…yikes!

#1488 A day at the pool with friends

#1489 A job I love

#1490 Late nights writing

#1491 Podcasts, and Bible Study, and my eyes being opened

#1492 The help of my in-laws…how would I make it without them!

#1493 Starbucks chai tea lattes and tiny acts of kindness

#1494 Homeschool planning

#1495 The anticipation of She Speaks in July

#1496 Our new good morning girl

#1497 Six weeks spent discipling six ladies and the joy and gratitude we all found together

#1498 Uninterrupted sleep

#1499 Joyful new blog designs…here , here , here and here

#1500 Meditating on Matthew 5 and all its richness

 

*Linking with The Better Mom and Playdates

 

Filed Under: Character, Gratitude, Inspirational, Motherhood, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: , , , ,



All Has Been Accomplished! The New Covenant Has Come :: Sermon on the Mount {Week 8}

May 30, 2012 by 8 Comments

As a junior in college I almost failed my Cell & Molecular Biology Lab. We were learning about histology and the assignment was to make slides of different types of tissue. But the problem was in order to make slides, the tissue had to be fresh. And you should have seen our faces when the Professor entered the lab carrying a cage with two big rats inside! He plopped it on the black table along with two pot-holder-type mitts and a guillotine, leaving us to slaughter the rats and harvest the tissue all by ourselves. And if it hadn’t been for the deal we made with the guys in the class, I would have certainly failed.

I’m not so good at blood and guts, at least when it comes to killing things. I can handle the sight when it involves saving a life or helping someone, but to slaughter an animal to kill it, I’m no good.

So it’s a good thing I wasn’t a Levite in the days of Moses and Joshua, because I would have failed at that too.

You see, back then, the Levites were responsible for all the law-keeping. And God made a covenant with the Israelites that was packed full of requirements—things the people had to do to be in right relationship with God. There were over 600 laws they had to keep, many of which involved sacrificing animals.

I know, it sounds gross … I would agree! But it’s important for us to understand why God had them do it so we can fully appreciate His entire plan.

Back in Genesis, when Adam and Eve sinned, man died spiritually and separated himself from a direct relationship with God. But God didn’t give up, He initiated a plan and decided to pursue one group of people, the Israelites, and make them His own. And it is through them, He wanted to bless all the people of the world.

The problem was His people were lame! They struggled to obey God and follow the laws of the covenant (which wasn’t surprising because there were so many) but honestly they blew it on some of the most simple points!

They would follow the law for awhile and then they’d get lax and worship other gods. And they vascillated in their faithfulness for years. So God sent prophets like Isaiah and Jeremiah (and many others) to prophesy about the future–to warn the Israelites of what would happen to them if they didn’t turn from their evil ways. But over time, they refused to listen.

So the people’s disobedience made them guilty in the sight of God. And that guilt just remained and couldn’t be removed. So God set up a means to teach the Israelites about the importance of obedience by having them sacrifice an animal, one which was free of defect–one that represented something pure and innocent – exactly what God wanted them to be.

And even though it was the people who deserved punishment for their sin, they sacrificed an innocent animal on their own behalf, which provided a means for the forgiveness of their sin. The blood of the animal didn’t remove their guilt, but covered it, and served as a symbol setting the stage for the moment in time when God would provide the final sacrifice—the one whose blood would permanently cover our sin once and for all time … His Son, Jesus.

And Jesus came. And in Matthew 5, as He sat on that mountain, He told His disciples…

 

Matthew 5:17-18 (ESV)
Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets. I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I say to you, unless heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot shall pass from the law until all is accomplished.

 

 

And you know what?

He did it. He accomplished it all.

Jesus verified and fulfilled the Law and the Prophets. And as followers of Christ today, we’ve been released from the Law of the Old Covenant.

And a New Covenant has come–a covenant of the Spirit of life, not of the law of the flesh.

Jesus came to write His law on the tablets of our human hearts–on our spirits, instead of on tablets of stone (like the ones on which Moses wrote the law). And this is good news … we no longer have to sacrifice animals in order to have a right relationship with God!

Because of God’s great love for us, because of the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross, because of His resurrection and His judgment which destroyed the temple … because Jesus did all He said He would do, when He said He would…

A New Covenant has come.

We have eternal life.

We are free.

No longer are we clothed through the process of obeying the letter of the law. Instead, we stand clothed in the righteousness of Christ, forever reconciled with God, because through Christ, all has been accomplished.

And as a challenged-animal-sacrificer, I’m so thankful for that!

 

 

 How has the accomplishment of Christ changed you?

From what have you been set free?

 

Continuing on in memorizing the Sermon on the Mount, with Ann and this community. Join us?

This week on to Matthew 5:19-20 (ESV)…

 

{WEEK 9}
 
Matthew 5:19-20 (ESV)
Therefore, whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
 
t w r o o t l o t c a t o t d t s w b c l i t k o h b w d t a t t w b c g i t k o h f i t y u y r e t o t s a p y w n e t k o h

 
 

Other posts in this series:

~Memorizing the Sermon on the Mount
~For When You Want to Know How to Really Teach {Week 1}
~For When You Need to Quit Performing to Earn God’s Love and Blessing {Week 2}
~When You Long to be Satisfied and Supremely Happy {Week 3}
~For When Memorizing is Intimidating and Change is a Challenge {Week 4}
~For When You Don’t Fit in and You’re Not Feeling Accepted {Week 5}
~Because You Are Meant to BE the Flavor {Week 6}
~We ARE the Light of the World  {Week 7}

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1446-1465} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with May’s printable.

#1446 Children running and playing on a warm evening

#1447 Breathtaking clouds in the sky

#1448 A Friday afternoon run with the wind and the view

#1449 Online friends who mean so much to me

#1450 A job I love that is so meaningful to me

#1451 The near-end of my first homeschooling year

#1452 A brave 4 yr old who got her “fighter-warriors” (vaccinations) for school

#1453 Beginning to teach my youngest to read

#1454 Evening little league games with family

#1455 Help with laundry

#1456 Having a mentor

#1457 An answer to an earnest prayer

#1458 My good morning girls emails

#1459 Reading my Bible every day…today #650 and counting…

#1460 The anticipation of She Speaks

#1461 Chewing on the Sermon on the Mount every day

#1462 Reciting with my 2nd & 4th grader…us all memorizing together

#1463 Podcasts helping me know lemonade and that I’m not going “nuts”

#1464 The gift of eternal life and the fact that all is accomplished

#1465 How I’m clothed by the righteousness of Christ, by His Grace…because Mercy Found Me…

 

Linking with: 

 

 *Photo Credit: Nottingham Vet School, flickr creative commons
Filed Under: Bible Memorization, Faith, Gratitude, Inspirational, One Thousand Gifts, Sermon on the Mount Tagged With: , , , , ,



Because I Know, This Won’t Always Be

May 13, 2012 by 12 Comments

She waited up for me…and I found her asleep on my pillow, still and quiet, sleeping next to daddy. Her, my last one. My baby of 5, and she had been wanting me.

And I know this won’t always be…

I scoop her up and walk to her room, and I pause there at the maroon chair–this chair that held me as I rocked each of my 5 babies in the wee hours … so many hours in that chair. I remember rocking for countless 2am feedings, and how we always melted away in sleep together while rocking in that chair.

I would so often awake with the next feeding almost upon us–waking in frustration that I had wasted precious sleep time by falling asleep upright. Oh how I ached for uninterrupted sleep. And in my desperate sleep-deprived state I hastily blew past the moments, because of all the arduous moments strung together without end.

And I know this won’t always be…

I hold her body close to mine. With her so relaxed and asleep, I sink into that maroon chair once more, and I rock. Such a privilege to rock tonight. Her body presses against mine and I put my cheek against her head, and I rest my head back against the chair and I remember.

I remember falling asleep here with my babies in my arms … so many times wishing for the next stage to come. Anticipating the future freedom: time to myself, uninterrupted sleep, less demands. And I remember how over the years,

I’ve yearned for the future to come and been irritated by its slowness.

I‘ve dismissed enthusiasm, playdoh fun, books presented, and bedtime routines … inconvenienced by them all.

I’ve rushed through homework, and meals, and talks, and hugs.

And I’ve  failed to savor the present …these moments here in the now, faithfully waiting for me over and over again.

And I know this won’t always be…

I feel her breaths, I hear their rhythms, I hold her tight, and this Mother’s day eve, I remember. I remember how this mama job is long, and yet how its moments are so short. I remember my firstborn, now 15, becoming a man, and standing so much taller than me.

Oh how I wish I could do many moments over. How I wish I would have slowed and captured each of them instead of rushing and racing by. And as I rock, and breathe, and hold my littlest, it is ever before me–so very clear this night … Why has it taken me so long to really absorb it?

Now … right now is what matters.

These moments that present themselves to me for the taking, day after day after day.

These moments begging me to take them captive–to gather them and use each one to build intentional connectedness, this connectedness that will be the foundation of our bonds.

I’ve SO failed. I’ve acted a fool … because the moments are so fleeting. And if I’m not careful I WILL run out of time.

I know this now: It requires intentionality to build these foundational bonds. Me bonded tightly to my children who God knit within me, because it is our bond that will endure our journey of this lifetime.

Now is the time, these moments to be captured and seared on my heart and on theirs too … united in life, living every moment to its fullest. No more room for rushing or haste.

Because I know this won’t always be…

 

In the shadow of Mother’s Day, may you slow down and enjoy the hard moments just as much as the ones that make you smile. I’m praying for you!

{I wrote these words last Mother’s Day eve after returning late from the hospital, rocking in the maroon chair and thinking long and hard about my life. And it was these reflective thoughts that began my journey toward homeschooling. This Mother’s Day so much has changed in one year and I’m so thankful for the intentional relationship we are cultivating as a family … step by step, no matter how arduous, one moment at a time.}

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1431-1445} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with May’s printable.

#1431 Following the Compassion Bloggers in Tanzania

#1432 Sponsors acquired for impoverished children around the world … and prayer for more to be sponsored

#1433 A letter from our Compassion daughter, Juliana, in Ecuador, and our letters mailed to her and to Gabriela in El Salvador

#1434 Pink roses in the sunshine

#1435 The return of Pomegranate yogurt at Pinkberry

#1436 Sunshine shining through the dark clouds  and reminding me there is always light and hope beyond our current darkness

#1437 The ability to exercise, even though I loathe it

#1438 Ann’s Mother’s Day posts…the full week of them

#1439 Whimsical wispy flowers in the Starbucks planter

#1440 A clean car

#1441 Swimming with the kids

#1442 Memorizing Matthew 5 with my two children, the reviewing and the quizzing and the reciting

#1443 Breakfast in bed

#1444 Pink roses in a vase, cards with heartfelt words, lunch and dinner and laughter and fun … a Mother’s day full of joy

#1445 That I don’t have to work to earn my salvation, that it is a gift of God, and that there is nothing I can do that will make God love me any more than He already does

 

**Linking with Playdates at the Wellspring
Filed Under: Gratitude, Inspirational, Motherhood, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: , , ,



For When We Need to Slow Down Time to See the Beauty

May 7, 2012 by 3 Comments

I sleep with the window open because the cool breeze is irresistible. The days have been beautiful here, not too cold or too hot, and it’s been a wonderful spring to enjoy. And I’ve woken up every morning this past week to a symphony of birds singing–chirping and tweeting and talking to each other. And while they’re happy and cheery, I’m still warming up to that idea and to be honest, it makes me wonder if the window open was worth it at all.

It’s hard to leave the comfort of my bed. Everything in me wants to linger here–to roll over and forget the long list of to-do’s for the day … always so much to do. I wriggle on my workout clothes and slip on my running shoes, grabbing my phone and ear buds too. And I don’t think I’ll ever like running. And I’m sort of a runner-walker anyway, because when it’s downhill I run, but when it’s uphill I walk. After all my polar-F-6-heart-rate-monitor-watch-thingy says my heart rate stays the same even though I’m only walking up, and that’s good enough for me.

And something happens as I breathe the freshness of the morning and put my feet one in front of the other. Even though I hadn’t wanted to run, I’m alone to do nothing but run and to see. I notice the beauty around me–the paths and the trees and the roses in full bloom. All this beauty I may have missed had I not gone running–had I not paid attention.

I’m the guiltiest of all when it comes to rushing and multi-tasking. With five kids and multiple plates I spin, what I’m thinking is efficiency in reality is pure futility. I miss so much when my thoughts and efforts are constantly diversified.

It becomes a rush, rush, rush … a hurry, hurry, hurry … and I’m thinking about the next thing while I’m trying to do the now-thing. And I wonder as I’m accomplishing my tasks and checking off my boxes why I’m feeling empty and why my efforts don’t satisfy.

I may be accomplishing tasks, but am I lingering with those I love most?

Am I slowing time to make room to notice the beauty that’s right here and has been here the whole time?

Kid’s playing, flowers blooming, bulbs sprouting, friends texting, books waiting … everything waiting for me to slow down and pay attention. But I keep moving on, on to the next thing, and I’m learning unless I intervene and come to a willful halt, there will always be a next-thing.

Time moves fast and it’s ironic how much I miss when I try to control it all in an attempt to maximize the time I’m given. Life feels chaotic like I’m spinning and there won’t be an end.

I re-read Ann’s words this past week… 

Hurry is the mark of an amateur

…and I’m still there, living that amateur way. Ugh!

How many times do I tell the kids to hurry? So many times. Over and over again.

And what am I teaching them really? That we don’t have time to slow down and notice the beauty of each moment.

No time to slow down and give thanks.

No time for making room for joy.

I’m glad that half the battle is awareness, so that the change can be possible. But being aware is not enough. I have to do something. Like Ann says, I have to open my hands and open my eyes and choose to see.

This week, may you join me in slowing down time by paying attention. By refusing to rush and hurry and multi-task our way through life. Let’s take time to rest, to notice nature, make time for that lunch with a friend, make time to read that book, or try that recipe… time most of all to nurture the relationships we’ve been given.

And let’s give thanks for it all, because it’s in the gratitude we can find joy. And I SO want joy!

 

How have you been rushing lately?

What beauty might you notice if you paused to see?

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1401-1415} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with May’s printable.

#1416 The smell of my pillow

#1417 Birds chirping before dawn

#1418 Traffic flowing

#1419 Flowers in the hospital parking lot

#1420 Mother-in-law teaching the kids while I’m at work

#1421 Long run in the damp morning air

#1422 Bed with warm covers and a cool breeze

#1423 Snails crawling about

#1424 Talking and sharing my story with a mentor

#1425  Quiet time for writing

#1426  Parents visiting

#1427  Son turning eight

#1428  Delicious mexican food for lunch

#1429  Discipleship meetings and sharing from our hearts

#1430 The chance to abide and bear much fruit that He may be glorified in me

 

**Linking with Playdates at the Wellspring
Filed Under: Faith, Gratitude, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: , , ,



When You’re in Need of a Book to Change Your Life

April 30, 2012 by 24 Comments

I want to write a book someday. And if there’s one thing I know about becoming an author, whatever I write needs to matter—it needs to be capable of changing a life.

And there are many books that have done that for me–books that left me changed. Books that have a message that stays with me long after I have read the last page. I have become better because of them, and that’s why they matter.

And while there are many books that have been helpful to me, I wanted to share with you just 5 of the books that have changed my life in the past few years. And it’s my hope that at least one of them could change yours too!

5 Books that Changed my Life

Found: God’s Will, by John MacArthur, is a short book that packs a punch. He answers the question almost every Christian asks: How can I know God’s will? And while the answer to this question eluded me for the majority of my Christian life, John’s words brought clarity to my mind, and relief to my heart. If you long to know how to find God’s will, this book is a must read, and I think you will find your life practically changed because of it.

One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp is a book I will read over and over again because the power of its message has transformed me, and I never want to forget. Ann dares me to notice the gifts in my life–to search for what I can be thankful for. She inspires me to write them down, to count them, and to give thanks for them in the midst my daily moments–those moments where the messes of my life challenge my willingness to give thanks. As I have read her poignant and transparent words, my perspective has shifted, and I am endeavoring to live life practicing the discipline of gratitude in every moment, even amidst suffering.

Love and Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs is absolutely the most practical book on marriage I’ve ever read! We use the strategies of this book every day in our marriage to break the crazy cycle of misunderstanding and communication differences. Wow! If you are married, I must say, you HAVE to read this book. It will change your marriage, I promise!

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, is the best book on children’s sleep I have ever found, and as a mom of 5, I have lived the moments where I was desperate for my kids to sleep. Unfortunately, I didn’t discover this book until after my 5th child was born, but I have still learned and benefitted so much from it. Dr. Weissbluth, is a pediatrician who conducts sleep research, and this book is a very practical resource for parents: I learned that sleep-wake cycles are separate from hunger cycles, that daytime sleep is different from nighttime sleep, and how essential sleep is for the healthy growth, development, and maintenance of our bodies. If you have children of any age, you will learn so much from this book, and use it as a resource that is just so practical!

Love & Logic, by Cline & Fay presents strategies for training and disciplining children. And after reading numerous books on parenting, these are my absolute favorites! They’ve written a general book, and also one that is specifically for parents of adolescents.  In a very practical, down-to-earth way, they explain how to provide natural consequences so children are motivated to independently choose what is right. They also call us out on our “hovering” parental ways, and instead, empower us to teach children the reality of their own decisions. I use these concepts daily, and wish I would have read these books years ago!

 

What book are you currently reading?

Which book has changed your life? How?

 

 

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1401-1415} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with April’s printable.

#1401 Uninterrupted sleep night after night

#1402 Swim lessons and watching them learn

#1403 Oldest and his friends “breaking-in” our pool

#1404 The littlest wanting to wear a dress and her hair in a bun and all the opinions of her 4-year-old personality

#1405 The ‘My Fitness Pal’ app, and how it scans labels too!

#1406 My sincere and much needed apology, and for the grace I received

#1407 A very sweet and very special surrogate delivery…and the privilege to be present to witness it

#1408 Podcasts from Michael Hyatt and The Simple Mom, keeping me company on my drive to work

#1409 (in)RL meetup with the food, flowers, laughter and being present in real community…such a gift

#1410 Twitter and connections it brings

#1411 Amazing worship and prayer service

#1412 Runs in the sunshine with my sweet husband

#1413 Flowers from a friend

#1414 Joining Instagram and learning to take pics

#1415 God’s GREAT love for us, even when we disappoint…and the way He chooses to use us anyway

 

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Filed Under: Book Recommendations, Faith, Gratitude, Marriage, Motherhood, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: , , , , ,



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