John Archives - Jacque Watkins

For When It Is a Challenge to Love

June 13, 2012 by Jacque 12 Comments

I wear it hoping that it will become true of me … LOVE Jn 13:35.

That somehow the feel of it around my neck will make me mindful and aware.

That the clanking of the pearl against the metal will help me remember.

And it isn’t even 10am and I glance over to see one child hitting another and the other fighting back. Have I been such a poor model that their instinctual reaction is to just cave to anger and go with their flesh? Did it not matter? The words from Matthew 5 that they’ve hidden in their hearts over these weeks, the words we’ve been learning together?

And the crazy thing is, when I ask, they can recite them. They haven’t forgotten…

Blessed are the peacemakers…

Blessed are you when others revile you…

…everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment…

Yet though they can say the words, it’s obvious they haven’t sunk in–haven’t soaked the soil of their hearts.

And my choice is right here before me, because their actions beg for correction.

And it’s the biggest test of all when no one is watching. When it’s just me and them—these children who are part of me, who’ve inherited more than just skin and flesh.

And inside, my heart sinks, and I feel defeat because their actions remind me how I fail too. Even the chain around my neck doesn’t prevent my failure.

It is my daily battle to love.

I bend to eye level and we discuss their fight. They know they were wrong and hang their heads as I talk, and their eyes show me they’ve heard it before, that they already know.

I explain and teach how it’s not natural to return kindness when wronged, not easy to be slow to anger, not instinctual to just love.

But He has called us to love. When we deserved death, He died in our place. And when we were unlovable, He loved us first.

This. This is the daily hill I climb…

To administer justice with wisdom.

To provide instruction with kindness.

To give grace in the right moments and extend mercy too.

And most of all, in the midst of it all, to love as He loves.

John 13:35 (ESV)

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

I’ve been given these mama moments to practice loving. And oh how many chances I have every single day! Times to practice cultivating a love like His … a love that will mark me as His.

Oh how I want to grow. To seize my flesh, to halt my nature, to pause and consider and love instead. Because I want to be known as His disciple, and I want my children to be known as His disciples too.

May this chain I wear remind me to what I am called. To love.

To simply love one another.

And because of that, to be known as His.

John 15:12 (ESV)

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

In which circumstance are you most challenged to love?

How do you overcome?

**Linking with Denise in Bloom, Women Living Well, Grace at Home, Thought Provoking Thursday

Filed Under: Character, Discipleship, Family, Motherhood Tagged With: character, failing, grace, growth, John, love, Matthew, paid it all

About Jesus’ Last Days {Remembering His Words}

April 5, 2012 by Jacque 2 Comments

In this Holy week I’ve been pondering the events of Jesus’ last two days, and remembering.

I remember how He celebrated Passover with His disciples that Thursday evening. How He ate and drank with them and how He washed their feet.

And I remember how they wondered,

Why would He do such a thing?

Why would HE wash our feet?

Why would a King do that?

And they were confused, and didn’t understand.

Jesus modeled a servant’s heart, and He began to explain His desire for them to serve too.

He predicted His own betrayal and told them what was about to happen—that His betrayal and death were near.

But they had no comprehension of what was in store.

And then I remember how they left the upper room and how they probably walked in the cool of that spring evening, down the hill of the Kidron Valley and through the vineyards. I imagine Him pausing by the vines that were full of spring grapes and calling them over.

And I imagine Him leaning in close, just as you would talk to your closest companion before you died … how you would tell them the most important things—whatever you longed for them to always remember.

And in the cool of that Thursday evening, He said to them,

John 15:5,7-14,17 (NASB)

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. This I command you, that you love one another.

Abide. They were to abide in His love.

And I’m sure they wondered,

How?

How do we abide?

And Jesus went on to explain that the abiding comes in the keeping of His commandments.

And what was His commandment?

To love.

They were to love as He had loved. And surely they knew of His love first hand. They had spent years with Him, experiencing Him. And now, He was asking them to love, and to obey, and to abide.

And it was then, they all pledged their allegiance to Him. Yet He again predicted betrayal, and Peter denied and dismissed the possibility. “Not me!” he said.

They continued on to the Garden of Gethsemane, with its dirt paths and olive trees, and Jesus prayed there. And He begged the Father for another way.

And then, the guards seized Him, right there in the garden. And after one of them chopped a soldiers’ ear off, Jesus put it back on and healed Him, and commanded them to stop the fighting and resistance.

They still don’t understand the Kingdom Jesus is establishing. It is a spiritual Kingdom. A conquering of the sin of Adam and the spiritual death it had brought. Jesus was ushering in a new Kingdom, one that sets us free from spiritual death.

They arrest Him and Jesus appears before Annas and Caiaphas the high priests.

And Peter follows, lagging behind, and it isn’t long … Peter denies Jesus–three times. And in those early morning hours the rooster crows, as Peter is in the midst of denying. Peter remembers Jesus’ words, and he hangs his head in shame.

And while they have Him detained, they beat Him and flog Him. They mock Him and taunt Him, blaspheming him. And they crown Him with thorns that press sharp into His head.

Friday morning, Jesus appears before the Sanhedrin Council, then before Pilate, then Herod, and Pilate again. And Pilate offers to release Jesus, as was the custom during the season. But the crowd yells, “Crucify Him!”, and demands the release of Barabbas instead.

And so Pilate gives the order, and delivers Jesus over to their will.

He carries His own cross down the Via Dolorosa—the way of suffering, with the help of Simon of Cyrene.

And during this Passover season, the very day the lambs are slaughtered, near the very hour the slaughtering traditionally begins,

Jesus is crucified. And He dies on the cross.

He dies for the sins of the world.

Our Passover lamb is slain. The perfect spotless lamb, atoning for all time, the sin of all people.

And I’m remembering today.

I’m remembering all He endured for me.

How the most profound love of all time was manifested in Him.

How He really did come to serve and give His life as a ransom for many.

I’m remembering His words to His disciples … His words to me.

Abide.

Obey.

Love.

And I am longing to be more. I’m yearning to respond to His great love. For isn’t it the least I can do? Unlike the disciples, may I understand Him. May I not deny Him. May I emulate Him. And may I live my life in a way that shows that they will know I am His—that I love as He loved.

John 13:35 (NASB)

By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

What moves you most about the events of Holy Week?

How does it change you?

Photo Credit: wharman, jpellgren, michalska1, Ian W. Scott, Flickr creative commons

Linking with Thought-Provoking Thursday

Filed Under: Faith, Inspirational Tagged With: John, love, thanks

For When Loving the Right Way Just Doesn’t Feel Right

February 16, 2012 by Jacque 9 Comments

I’m learning that sometimes loving the right way doesn’t always feel right in the moment.

But loving the right way is a love that acts, beyond the emotions of the now, and fights hard to see the goal at the finish.

And this is my challenge.

You see, I’ll admit to you … I’m a recovering rescuer-especially when it comes to parenting. You know the kind. The one who hovers like a helicopter, swoops in, and saves the day in a moment’s notice–a “micromanager” of sorts. The kind who just goes ahead and does the task for anther because it is faster, easier, and gets done better, than if they fumble, complain, and take forever to do it, only to fail to get the task accomplished in the end.

Yes, the road to recovery has been long, but a journey that has been necessary—actually, crucial for the healthy development of my children and relationships.

And yes the other day, (drum roll please) … my 9-year old daughter went hungry. Yup, she did. No food at all until lunch. Why you ask? Well let me just expand on that…

She has developed a habit … as in, not-the-first-time-this-has-happened-routine, of conveniently and selectively editing my instructions. Oh don’t get me wrong, she will happily agree with my requests and promise to obey with a smile. Yet not even 15 minutes later, I’ll find her distracted and disobedient. And believe it or not, she would tell you that she’s not disobeying. Really. She’d explain with clarifications like, “I didn’t hear you”, or “I forgot”, or “I got distracted”.

But I’m onto her. This disobedience with a smile is almost worse than angry outbursts of protest—more insidious, and certainly more of a challenge to deal with, at least for this recovering parent. And I’m thinking (because of the influence of some very wise reading material that I’ll share with you at the end of this post) this developed ”habit” is my fault. Because I haven’t provided her with enough motivation to make a purposeful decision–a good enough reason to choose to stop her distractions, forgetfulness, and lack of hearing.

And before you judge me for making my child starve, (this child who has been a poor and picky eater from the womb), boy did she eat at lunch! And the hope is that next time I instruct her to go downstairs to eat before we have to leave, she’ll think twice before “getting distracted” now that she has experienced the natural consequences of her decisions. She’ll have some experience to reflect upon–some motivation to make an intentional decision.

And isn’t this is how real life is? Whether we like them or not, there are always consequences for our decisions. And that’s why each time we are faced with one, we consider all we have learned before we decide. And as we have more and more lessons and experience, we tend to make better decisions.

And the thing is, God allows us to learn like this too, and it’s because He loves us. And while it’s true that amidst our failure He is gracious and merciful, He still allows us to experience some of the natural consequences of our choices. He doesn’t make our choices for us, or hover and swoop-in to prevent the choice or consequence from happening. He is patient, kind and long-suffering–wooing, and then waiting for us to completely turn to Him. And in that moment, He is right there alongside us, to help us grow and heal from our mistakes.

Jeremiah 31:3 (NASB)

The LORD appeared to him from afar, saying,
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.

And in His great love for us, He longs for us to obey. Not so that it ruins our fun, but to save us from the painful consequences of our disobedience. He wants the best for us, and because of that He allows us to learn through our choices and experiences. And when we mess up, and begin to experience the consequences, He says, ’Come to Me’. And as we turn to Him, acknowledge Him, and invite Him to, He redeems and weaves it all together for our good, making all things beautiful in His time.

John 15:12 (NASB)

“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

That’s what I long to be as a parent. As a daughter. As a wife. As a friend. Presenting choices. Allowing consequences. And undergirding it all with love and grace that just surprises them like crazy! After all, I’m longing to be a vessel– to be the hands and feet of Jesus, urging them to love Him like crazy too!

So in those moments when loving the right way just doesn’t feel right, know you are not alone, and keep your eyes on the goal–focused and determined to love like Jesus!

Does acting in love ever feel uneasy to you?

How are you different because of some experiences or consequences you have faced?

Below are two of the best parenting books I’ve ever read. Too bad I found them after my 5th child was born! It’s never too late to recover!

Linking with Walk with Him Wednesdays, Women Living Well, Life Unmasked, and Thought-Provoking Thursday

*Affiliate links in this post

Filed Under: Book Recommendations, Character, Family, Inspirational, Leadership, Motherhood Tagged With: character, Jeremiah, John, leadership, love, motherhood

Connected {This Season and the Whole Year Through}

December 16, 2011 by Jacque 6 Comments

In this season of extravagance and celebration, in the bustling to buy and then the wrestling to wrap. Amidst it all, the real purpose of this season is to be connected. Connected to friends and family … nurturing the newness and repairing the broken. Connected to those you love most of all.

He made us for connection, and connection is the very reason He came–so we could be connected to a pure and Holy God who rules the world with justice and majesty and truth. He came to make a way that we could be connected and reconciled to Him–the Creator of the world … the God who always was and who always will be. He came with purpose and focus–God revealed in full flesh to come, and then to die, so that we might live.

John 1:3-4,12 (NASB)

All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name.

And as we spend this holy season connected to one another as He meant for us to be, may we also make much room in our hearts for Him, preparing for the whole year through. That we may remain and abide in Him. That we may stay connected, not only in this season, but every single day of the year right through–connected to Him who came and then gave. Connected to Him whose lovingkindness never ends.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (NASB)

The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

How do you stay connected to those you love during this season?

How do you stay connected to God?

I’m joining Lisa-Jo, over at her site today, to take five minutes and just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. The challenge is to write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing, with the prompt she gives. And today, her prompt:

Connected…

Photo Credit: Pam Booher

Filed Under: Faith, Five Minute Friday, Inspirational Tagged With: connection, friend, intimacy, John, lamentations, lovingkindness, paid it all

Trading Poverty for Wealth…One Verse at a Time

September 26, 2011 by Jacque Leave a Comment

The morning sun gleamed through the wood shutters as I settled myself into my regular spot on the couch, the spot I’ve grown familiar with…the place where we meet…where I read and I talk, and listen and ponder and grow. This, a daily privilege I enjoy, just me alone with Him, in this place…the place where I am still, and write all my thoughts and prayers down.

I settled in with my high-maintenance-Starbucks drink and my Bible…me with my Bible “wealth”, ready for His words to soak in deep and satisfy. And I’m amazed at how dry I become without this…how parched and cracked and empty I am without this time with Him and His Word.

Full of expectation, I open my Bible to John 15, and the words of Jesus himself…

⁷If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

⁸ My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.

⁹ Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.

¹⁰ If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

¹¹ These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

Ah, to be full…and to have joy.

This abiding and obeying, always bringing joy…

And daily we meet…

And daily I read…

And daily I sit and listen…

And yet what if I had nothing to read?
What if I didn’t even know there was someone to meet?
What if I didn’t realize there was someone wanting to sit?
Someone longing for to listen to me?

And what if I lived in a place where I didn’t even have a Bible?
What if there was no Bible in my language?
And beyond that, what if my language didn’t even have an alphabet?
What if it had never been written down?

And amazingly, there are over 340 million people, one-third of the world’s language groups, in Bible poverty…

Without a Bible in a language they can clearly understand,

Without the knowledge that there is someone who wants to meet with them,

Ignorant of a God who loves them unconditionally,

Who sacrificed, and suffered, and died for them, that they may have eternal life and live forever with Him.

They don’t know of our Almighty God, who longs to reveal Himself to them through His Word…a Father who longs to sit with them, and abide with them…who longs to speak to them, and relate with them, and tell them of His love.

These people He loves, who live in remote places…

Amidst primitive and underprivileged circumstances…

These children who survive on so little…

And these adults who work so very hard…

Many of these have no Bible…

No alphabet…

No written language…

No knowledge of God’s great love…

And in the learning of the vastness of this tragedy, and in the recognizing of the privileged life I enjoy, the question echoed in my mind…

And oh how it haunted…

What is it I can do about this?

Is there anything we can do together to solve this?

Is there any way I can help them know?

Me who lives in excess…

Who indulges in high-maintenance Starbucks drinks…who sits in a 5-bedroom house, on a soft dry couch, in the warmth of the sun, and reads of life and love and joy…of grace and mercy and forgiveness and hope, such wealth in these thin pages that I daily turn…

And how can I help?

How can we help?

How can we begin to trade their poverty for wealth?

And there is an organization that allows you and me to help…

Giving us the privilege to make a difference…

To change lives with the knowledge of His great love…

To begin to trade their Bible poverty for wealth, ONE.VERSE.AT.A.TIME…

OneVerse is a program of The Seed Company, that enables us to support local Bible translators as they make God’s message available in the language of their people.

For only $26, your sponsorship gift provides the resources required for national translators to translate one verse of Scripture into their own language.

Through OneVerse, you and I can make a difference and join a team of prayer and financial partners to make it possible for this tragedy to be transformed, for their poverty to be exchanged for wealth, and for people of the World to come to know the good news of the great love of our God.

Would you join me today in beginning to make a difference?

Would you consider sharing with me in this?

For the cost of six high-maintenance Starbucks drinks, would you be willing to give a gift to help today?