How Bob Goff Showed Me Love Does

May 5, 2013 by Jacque 13 Comments

They rave about it at our church for weeks … rave about the arrival of Bob Goff. Even my husband is excited about it. And besides imagining the meaning of the words “love does”, I know nothing of what to expect. My expectations are hopeful for a message that moves me, but I have no idea what it will be.

I sit mesmerized by the blue screen with the balloons floating up. The colored balloons. And I can’t lie. I’m attracted to their color and larger-than-life size, reminded of parties and celebrations and joy. I’m lifted by their buoyancy and feeling lighter because of their presence. Still. What does doing love have to do with floating balloons? And just as I’m lost in the pondering, worship music jolts me back. And with the shrug of a shoulder, I wait to see.

We worship about the love of God … how I’m so unworthy, but still He loves me. How He’s who I need. How there’s no other name but Jesus. How the riches of His love will always be enough. And how my heart will sing, no other name, Jesus. Jesus.

As I sing, my insides are tossed and turned at the thought of his love. Not because I’m nervous. But because of how undeservedly blessed I am that He takes a chance on me.

That He wants me.

That He loves me.

In spite of it all.

My insides flip-flop and my heart fills with emotion when I realize, again, there is never EVER anything that can, or will, separate me from His great love.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers,

nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,

nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)

And then it happens.

Who knew I’d need a seatbelt in church?

Who knew I’d laugh in one second, and then, after the next sentence, feel my eyes water with thanks for the way God loves?

Who knew I’d be captivated and time would fly at the speed of sound and it’d be over before I could absorb it all?

Who knew I’d leave changed, unable to shake this kind of love that does. What a wild ride. I want to get on again. I want to ride over and over until I know the ride by heart.

Bob Goff describes the love of a Savior. A love that doesn’t just think about loving, but a love that does.

What comfort I find as he speaks…

I am part of the bride of Christ. As the doors open, Jesus, my groom, stands at the end of the aisle and grins teary-eyed as He sees me.

He knows me, and still … He loves me.

He does not define me by what I do or who I am.

No.

He sees who I am becoming in Him.

Life sometimes clutters my view of Jesus. It fills with countless things and I can’t even see Him, let alone hear His voice.

The best practice is to just quit something. To look at life and all I’m doing, and just quit. Every week to just quit something, each passing week leaving more room to SEE Him.

It’s true. Sometimes I fake it. I’m a poser, trying too hard.

Why?

Because I’m afraid …

Afraid of not doing enough. Not being enough.

Afraid of failing. Afraid I won’t measure up.

But Jesus says … be not afraid. BE. NOT. AFRAID.

I am chosen.

I am called. Called to live a life worthy of my calling.

And what is that?

What am I called to do?

Well … perhaps that’s the wrong question. Maybe the better question is …

What am I good at? What am I REALLY good at? Yeah. Do that. Start there.

What am I bad at? Yeah. Don’t do that. Just don’t.

Everyone wants to make a difference in the world, but few want to live differently. Few want to leave the comfort of thinking about loving and actually do love.

To choose to extend the hands and feet of Jesus.

To SEE who someone is becoming and intentionally choose to show them love.

Like a floating balloon lifts into the sky … We must LIFT THEM UP.

Love does.

And when it does, God moves. He changes everything.

And He wants to blow my mind with all He has in store as I choose to do love.

Bob’s energy is contagious. His love for Jesus is infectious. His acts of love nothing less than pure inspiration for my heart.

His is a message that moves me in deep ways–ways God has already been preparing my heart to hear.

And I am changed.

I stand in the line to meet Bob with his balloon-clad book in hand.

And he oozes the love of Jesus when I meet him.

There are no handshakes with Bob. No way!

With Bob there are only hugs.

There are only eyes locked, intent listening, and words of life-filled encouragement offered…

Get to know Jesus.

Watch what He did, what He said, and where He went.

See who He loved and how He loved.

Stop bible-studying and begin bible-doing.

Do just the next thing. One small step at a time.

Do love. And then watch what God does, and where He leads.

Pay attention to the doors He opens.

Pick those, and just do it again. And again. And again.

And get ready for God to blow your mind!

Forever I will remember the Sharpie-words he writes in my book with his very own hand…

“What a treat to SEE you. Love God. Love people. Do stuff.”

Do stuff. Because LOVE DOES.

I went to church this morning.

I heard Bob Goff.

And I will never be the same.

When is the last time you let your love do stuff?

What happened?

*Linking with Michelle, Laura, Ann, and Jennifer

Filed Under: Character, Community, Compassion, Faith, God's Love, God's Mercy & Grace, Relationships Tagged With: character, growth, love, realness, Romans

How to Share Your Past Failure with Your Kids

February 16, 2013 by Jacque 2 Comments

Talking to our children about our past mistakes and failure can be a risk. We fear looking bad, being a poor influence, or giving them a free pass to fail. We prefer, instead, to relay the best of who we are, because it makes us feel better about ourselves. And instead of transparency, we subconsciously craft an impression that is disingenuous at best, and a total lie at its worst.

I’m over at the MOB Society today, sharing five benefits to sharing our past with our kids…

And if you’ve ever wondered what you should share and why, join me, won’t you?

I can’t wait to see you there!

Click Here to join me…

Is there something in your past you dread sharing with your kids?

What happened when you did?

Filed Under: Adversity, Authenticity, Character, Failure, Guest Posts, Motherhood, Relationships, The MOB Society Tagged With: character, failing, motherhood

For When You’re Exposed and Have Lost Your Words

January 25, 2013 by Jacque 35 Comments

I hear the pitter patter of the rain and see the clouds hang on the mountain, much like the words hang heavy on my heart. Where have they gone? After baring my soul to the world, braving the cold winds of exposure and judgment, what now?

January has left me behind…

Deadlines to meet and endless work to be done,

Gaps to fill from leftover December tasks,

Homeschooling lesson plans, post deadlines, and bi-yearly work re-certifications all due this month.

The tasks smother me and I lose my words.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t discouraged.

Frustrated to not have the time to write,

And more frustrated to not find words when I finally sit and make time for it anyway.

I watch the unsubscription notifications continue to come. They’ve heard my story, and I suppose there’s no reason to stick around. Stripped bare, then left. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t matter.

Yet I know this … this is my calling—to shout of the mercy and grace of our God.

To allow Him to mend my most broken places … and I have … and for you to allow Him to mend yours too.

But if just being mended were the end, I would squelch the fullness of His work in me.

The mending is just the beginning.

Then comes the surrender … the obedience required to allow Him to use it for good … because He’s the only one who can.

And so, this God-sized dream of a community of mercy and grace,

This place,

Right here,

For us to celebrate the redemption He brings to the everyday messes we make,

May it become whatever He wants it to be.

And although I search for the words, I will continue to come, again and again. And I will never cease to tell of the abundant grace He gives and the mercy that finds us, in any moment, right where we are.

And if that means exposing my weaknesses, I will do it, as He calls me to … for His sake, that He may be glorified in me.

To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak…

and I do all things for the sake of the gospel,

that I might become a fellow partaker of it.

I Corinthians 9:22-23 (NASB)

Do you find uncertainty after being exposed?

How hard is it for you to find your words?

And you’re invited to link up next week!

As we meet for the first time ever, right here, and tell of how mercy has found us,

even in the smallest of ways …

I’d love to see you there!

To read more about the link up, click here…

I’m joining Lisa-Jo, over at her site today, to take five minutes and just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. The challenge is to write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing, with the prompt she gives. And today, her prompt:

Again…

Filed Under: Adversity, Brokenness, Character, Community, Five Minute Friday, God's Mercy & Grace, God-Sized Dreams, Humility/Self-Denial Tagged With: 1 Corinthians, brokenness, character, grace, mercy, realness

Unglued Finale & (in)couraged to hope Link-up!

November 29, 2012 by Jacque 5 Comments

We drove halfway up the mountain in an argument and it didn’t get much better once we arrived. I can’t even remember what it was about. But most likely it was precipitated by a lack of time together lately, the stresses of finances, and the myriad of responsibilities on both of our shoulders.

When we arrived, there was unpacking and organizing and dinner to be made. There were kids to manage and beds to get ready. And we worked together in the thick tenseness, amidst the formal politeness of our tone.

And how is it possible to know someone the most intimately on the planet, be in the same space, and yet feel so far away?

That day, I had cycled through it all.

I stuffed it all down early in the day, building a barrier that couldn’t be seen. Then I stock-piled rocks, and saved them as the ammunition I would need. I tallied infarctions and stowed them in my mind … until the explosions came … the frustration and the blaming and the assuming—with the certainty that my view was the “right” view. And then came the shame and all my disappointment with my unglued-ness.

Had I not learned anything over these weeks reading and studying with all of you?

How is it at the end of this study, as the co-leader of this group, I can manage to go through all four unglued styles in the course of a few hours and take steps backward in my ongoing pursuit of imperfect progress?? (emphasis on imperfect!) Ugh!

We got the kids in bed, and I retreated to my room–me, my journal, and my Bible. I put on my David Nevue-Pandora channel and began to read, and write, and pray. My brokenness had drawn me there. And my emptiness necessitated a filling.

And I think that night, I experienced the truth of Lysa’s parting words…

It’s in brokenness we are emptied out,

and that emptiness is the perfect spot for grace to grow.

And brokenness and emptiness are the perfect bridges to connect again with Him and be drawn to His way, instead of our own.

Oh how often we reach beyond the limits of our self-control, and beyond the boundaries of our disciplined hearts, to that familiar unglued place. The failure engulfs us again and the brokenness overwhelms and spills us out all over the floor, until there’s nothing left …

Nothing left but turning to Him to get filled all the way up again.

Filled with grace and goodness,

Mercy and kindness,

And His deep love that never runs dry.

This is the plight of imperfect progress, and with each emptying and filling cycle, we are made more and more beautiful in His time.

He fills us, remakes us, and molds us, as we surrender to Him in our broken and empty places.

And He promises to be near to our broken-hearts and close by in the thick of the unglued storm.

His mercy is new in every moment, and His grace grows best in our emptiness.

He is faithful.

Present.

Available.

And willing.

And His strength is perfect when our strength is gone.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)

I walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. My hand met his, and the grace began to flow in both directions. It was as if the waiting had made it grow all the more powerful and strong, and the touch had signaled it to begin to flow between us.

Only in my broken-emptiness was there room for grace.

And if my slow-as-molasses imperfect progress propels me to Him, there is good in that—and it’s just like Him to take my failure and make it good in His time.

So friend, know today you’re not alone in your unglued-ness … not alone in your broken-emptiness. And rest in knowing that our failure is not in vain. We can do better, and we can be stronger, with His strength.

And when our inevitable unglued moments come, know He is right there … rooting you on, loving you wildly, and longing for you to run to Him, so He can fill you again.

How has this study changed you?

What is the most helpful thing you learned?

If you have a blog, feel free to link up a post below with your reflections of our study through Lysa‘s book, Unglued. And if you’re not a blogger, please leave a comment and let Tracie and I know how this all went for you … mkay??

We’ve been in the trenches right with you and are continuing to cheer you on…

and we can’t wait to hear from you!

Filed Under: (In)couragers, Adversity, Brokenness, Character, Community, Failure, Faith, God's Love, God's Mercy & Grace, God's Promises, Hope, Humility/Self-Denial, Relationships, Unglued Tagged With: character, grace, growth, hope, realness

Give Thanks to the Lord for He is Good

November 22, 2012 by Jacque 4 Comments

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.

He. is. good.

Do you believe He is?

Even through the job loss

The cancer fight

The care of an aging parent

Or the care of a special needs child?

Do you believe He is good?

Even through the loneliness and despair of isolation

The tension of your marriage

Or the rejection of a friend?

For some of us it’s easy to give thanks, but for others, this day is hard, and giving thanks is a sacrifice.

Because thanks is something you say when you believe you’ve received a gift. But what if that thing you’re given feels nothing like a gift? And what if believing He’s good is the hardest part of all?

Oh friend, may I encourage you today? No matter the triumphs or tragedies of this year…

He longs to draw you close.

He longs to open His arms wide and pull you into His embrace.

He sees who you are.

And He wants to make you more like Him.

Not because you’re not good enough just the way you are. Not. at. all. But so you can become more like Him–reflecting Him to a hurting and desperate world.

He longs to connect with you, and for you to abide.

And so He gives. ALL things.

And even if we don’t feel like they’re gifts,

He does care,

And He does know,

And He IS good.

So today, no matter where you are or what your heart is facing, please know…

He is good,

And you are loved,

Just as you are.

May we accept all He gives, trust in His plan, and offer Him the thanks of our whole heart.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Lord Jesus,

This Thanksgiving day we acknowledge You are good.

We lay down our selfish ways and limited perspectives,

and we surrender our hearts completely to You … no holding back.

We trust you and thank you for all you give and for all we have…

For making a way for us to be reconciled through Your death on the cross.

For giving us mercy–by removing the punishment we deserve,

For giving us grace–by offering your love and favor we could never earn.

This day of Thanksgiving, mold us and make us to be more like You,

that we may reflect You to a lost and dying world.

Thank you for ALL you give, we are so in awe of You.

In Jesus’ name we pray,

Amen

When thanks demands a sacrifice, will you give thanks even then?

What are you giving thanks for today?

Filed Under: Adversity, Brokenness, Character, Devotional, Faith, God's Love, God's Mercy & Grace, Gratitude, Hope Tagged With: aching, brokenness, character, grace, growth, love, mercy, thanks

Unglued {Lesson 5} & (in)couraged to hope Link-up!

November 6, 2012 by Jacque 3 Comments

They run around the mountain cabin like a band of barbarians, wild and crazy and loud. They chase and they banter and their excitement is palpable. And still, I’m irritated and annoyed, and I come Unglued.

Nevermind they’re just kids in a new and exciting place

Never mind they’ve been cooped up in a car on a long drive up the mountain

I explode and blame them … and I shame myself in the process.

Why is this so hard?

Why can’t I loosen up?

Why can’t I just let things go?

As I’ve examined my unglued moments over the past few weeks, I’m realizing I come most unglued with my own children.

Because I have unrealistic expectations…

Of quiet and calm behavior

Of serene moments just hanging out together

And I’m not sure what dream land I’m in, but I’m realizing, this is not the season for all that. At the ages of 10, 8, 6, and 4 there is nothing short of boundless energy and constant interaction at all times, with someone always disagreeing with someone else. And no one needed this week’s chapter more than me!

A Procedure Manual for the Unglued, provided actual steps I could take when I’m feeling the intensity of my raw emotions. And the few times I was able to successfully implement each step was a new benchmark for me.

But you know what two things were required of me in order to respond with patient gentleness?

First, an awareness—a recognition that I may be beginning to come unglued,

And then, self-control–the hardest part of all!

It’s so much easier to just let my emotions run wild, refusing to discipline myself to what God says gives life—kind and gentle words. And I so want my children to hear life-giving words from me, not stifling words. I want them to grow strong and confident because of me, not be on edge with anxiety, never knowing if their mama’s gonna come unglued.

Predetermined Biblical Procedure Manual

1. Alarmed, I resolve to remember who I am.

2. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

3. Stay in the flow–my job is obedience, God’s job is results.

4. Shift from an attitude to gratitude.

5. My reactions determine my reach.

~Unglued, p.117

And won’t you join me on this journey, to do these steps that may change our lives and those around us?

Let’s resolve to recognize when we’re beginning to come unglued.

Let’s determine to remember who we are.

Let’s call on the powerful name of Jesus, and operate in His way instead of our own.

And as we do, let’s shift our perspective and give thanks for what we do have, so our reach will be a blessing.

This week we’ll be covering session 5 in the participant’s guide and chapters 9 and 10 in the book. There are times we come unglued while interacting with people, but there are others times our tendency to become unglued is the result of our own selves.

This week, Lysa will help us become more aware of how jealousy, comparisons, negative thoughts, and assumptions can be fertile ground for becoming unglued.

And as we recognize what we do have … as we focus on giving to others, and as we banish our insecurities and replace our destructive thoughts with more constructive ones, we can make more imperfect progress on our say.

Lysa has some lingering words for our unglued hearts and I can’t wait to hear them!

Jacque

How did these steps work for you this week?

What was your biggest success or biggest failure in coming unglued?

If you want to share something from your journey through the book Unglued, please, please, leave a comment or link-up with us today!! Tracie and I can’t wait to hear what’s been happening with you!!

(And just so you know, if you’re behind in your reading you are not alone!! … remember…imperfect progress … that’s the goal!)

Filed Under: (In)couragers, Character, Community, Unglued Tagged With: character, growth, motherhood

Because Our Roots Are Established in the Dark Secret Places

November 2, 2012 by Jacque 12 Comments

She stood on that stage almost a week ago in her red speaking boots. And with her soft soothing voice she told it to us brave:

Do not disdain the secret living…

The moments in life no one sees.

The way you sacrifice and serve and die to your self in the mundane moments.

Crucified and Cruciform. Every. Single. Day.

Giving up your own desires to meet the needs of others–the ones God has given to you.

And even now, almost a week later, I hang on her words and the words in Matthew 6, as I continue to meditate and memorize this way of living.

Because there really are secret places where we live–places in our hearts and in our minds. Places no one knows and sometimes we don’t want seen.

But it is in those dark secret places we declare who we are. It’s in the everyday decisions of those fertile dark places, where we dive down further, and deeper–plunging our roots down, down, down.

Down in humility to find the living water.

Down in self-sacrifice to drink until it satisfies.

It’s in the dark secret places our roots are established … where they live and where they thrive. It’s in the deep where no one sees, and no one knows, but Him.

What we are in the light is determined by who we are in the dark. Our fruit is merely the product of our roots.

~Shannon Ethridge, The Fantasy Fallacy

And it’s a truth that is sinking into the deepest parts of me…

The parts of us that are seen in the light are always a reflection of how we live in the dark–our roots always declaring who we really, truly are.

May our roots grow deep and strong in the dark secret places, is my prayer.

Jacque

Aaaaand…the kids joined me today!

We wrote for ten minutes instead of five.

And they, too, LOVE Five Minute Friday!! Here’s a highlight of their masterpieces…

What is your biggest struggle in living a good life in secret?

What helps you keep your roots growing down?

Roots…

Filed Under: Character, Faith, Five Minute Friday, Homeschooling, Inspirational Tagged With: character, growth, humility, realness

Dangers When We Pray :: Sermon on the Mount {Week 25-27}

November 1, 2012 by Jacque Leave a Comment

Several years ago I served in our church’s MOPS leadership, and my title? Prayer coordinator. I was asked to lead our leadership team in this key area, and I was happy to do it.

And while the year went well, I had not always had such a passion and eagerness for prayer.

Just ten years earlier I questioned God.

What was prayer?

And why was it necessary at all?

After all, if God is…

omniscient–complete in knowing all my thoughts,

omnipresent–with me wherever I go,

and all-powerful—capable of doing anything He wanted…

Why should small me, need to ask anything of Him?

Why pray?

So I bought a book to investigate the answers and I started to pray anyway—to just talk to God, sometimes journaling to Him, and see what happened.

And through the process of reading and experiencing, I began to understand that prayer was mostly for me … Because God already knows my longings and desires. He already knows the choices I will make and the outcomes there will be. And the process of prayer ended up being less about unlocking God’s power and more about changing my heart.

Prayer creates heart change. It’s more for us than for Him because over time it changes us into who He wants us to be—if we let Him.

Because there are dangers when we pray.

And Jesus warns of them in Matthew 6—the danger of our tendency to make prayer more about us than about Him.

Matthew 6:5-13 (ESV)

And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Pray then like this: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread,and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

When we are first beginning to practice prayer, there’s a tendency to be pre-occupied with trying to say just the right words—concerned about maintaining just the right posture so we can please Him and others who are listening. But God is not concerned about our finesse.

God adores us as a Father adores his children, and He longs for prayer to be a point of connection between us—a time to spend together, for us to know Him more. And He longs to bless us more than we can even imagine.

”If we only realized that we are indeed His children and that whenever we pray it is like a child going to its father! He knows all about us; He knows every need before we tell Him…He desires to bless us very much more than we desire to be blessed.”

~M. Lloyd-Jones

God doesn’t want us to come to him and pray out of obligation or ritual or liturgy. He already knows us, and wants us to know Him.

But so often we don’t pray because we have this notion it needs to be a formal appointment, with proper words, spoken in particular ways. And because we don’t have the time, or fear we don’t have the right technique to communicate with God, we simply don’t spend time with Him at all.

“Prayer is ultimately a talk, a conversation, a communion with my Father; and one does not address on whom one loves in this perfect, polished manner, paying attention to phrases and the words and all the rest. There is surely something essentially spontaneous about true communion and fellowship.”

~M. Lloyd-Jones

But even as I grew through that first danger, I then faced the next one head on. Jesus knew when we pray, we have a tendency to focus on ourselves instead of Him … longing to appear extra-spiritual before others.

And I am guilty as charged.

Although I was growing in maturity and valued prayer, I must admit … I liked being known as one who prayed well. I felt respected. I knew I mattered. It fed my ego.

And THAT is wrong. THAT makes prayer about me, not Him.

And it should be ALL about Him.

We should pray to connect with God, not to be heard by others. Not for them to think how eloquent or beautifully we pray.

I’ve had people compliment me when I pray … and I’ve said “Thank you”, and walked away feeling pretty good about myself.

O Lord, I’m so sorry … please forgive me.

Forgive me for my heaped-up-Gentile-words. Forgive me for caring what others think. Forgive me for not focusing my mind’s attention solely on You in the moments my lips were praying.

Guilty.

I’m guilty, are you?

We should come to the place that a compliment about our prayer turns our stomach—that our hearts would come to reject such words. To do otherwise removes the focus from Him.

Prayer is not for getting something FROM God, it’s for spending time WITH God.

In secret.

Alone.

With few words and a sincere heart.

And He already knows what we need before we even ask Him. What a comfort that is!

Prayer is the practice of surrender to a relationship, not engaging in a transaction.

As we pray, may we lay down our pretenses and worries, and lay down our anxieties of being just right. As we pray, may we focus on Him at all times, and may we be changed, is my prayer.

Jacque

How is prayer challenging for you?

What danger regarding prayer have you been guilty of?

Continuing on in memorizing the Sermon on the Mount, with Ann and this community. Join us?

{WEEK 28}

Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV)

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will you Father forgive your trespasses.

f i y f o t t y h f w a f y b i y d n f o t t n w y f f y t

Other posts in this series:

~Memorizing the Sermon on the Mount

~For When You Want to Know How to Really Teach {Week 1}

~For When You Need to Quit Performing to Earn God’s Love {Week 2}

~When You Long to be Satisfied and Supremely Happy {Week 3}

~For When Memorizing is Intimidating and Change is a Challenge {Week 4}

~For When You Don’t Fit in and You’re Not Feeling Accepted {Week 5}

~Because You Are Meant to BE the Flavor {Week 6}

~We ARE the Light of the World {Week 7}

~All Has Been Accomplished! The New Covenant Has Come {Week 8}

~For When You Think It’s Only About Following the Rules {Week 9}

~Because It’s All About the Illustrations & Their Principles {Week 10}

~For When You Encounter Prickly People {Week 11}

~What to Do When Someone is Upset With You {Week 12}

~Holiness is a Matter of the Heart {Week 13}

~Because a Life of Holiness Demands My Soul, My Life, My All {Week 14}

~3 Steps For When Your Heart Faces the Pain of Divorce {Week 15}

~The Thorns Beneath the Smile … Answers Should be Yes or No {Week 16 & 17}

~Selfishness is Sin, But Grace Gives Life {Week 18 & 19}

~The Change of Learning to Love Like He Loves {Week 20-22}

~For When You Need the Approval of Others {Week 23-24}

*Linking with Do Not Depart

Filed Under: Bible Memorization, Discipleship, Faith, Sermon on the Mount Tagged With: character, growth, prayer, pride

Unglued {Lesson 4} & (in)couraged to hope Link-up!

October 29, 2012 by Jacque Leave a Comment

Wow! It’s been a whirlwind of a week. I’ve been so crazy busy—maybe you have too??!

Tracie and I have been going through Lysa TerKeurst’s book, Unglued, along with some of you, and we are longing that each one of you is (in)couraged to hope … that you would have hope that we’re in this together.

And whether you’ve read every chapter or have not yet picked up the book, we can still learn from each other. We can still press on together toward small steps of imperfect progress, as we learn to identify and make better choices in our unglued moments—moments when our emotions are raw and wise choices tend to be few. And there seem to be plenty of those to go around, right?

As I’ve noticed my many unglued moments this week, I can certainly relate to Lysa in her tendency to become unglued in every way, depending on the situation.

Sometimes we explode, and when we do, we either blame others or we end up regretting our reaction and feel shame and guilt over how we behaved.

Other times we stuff our raw emotions inside.

We pull away and build barriers between ourselves and others, in order to protect our hearts from getting more hurt.

Or we keep track of the wrongs done against us, storing up what Lysa calls, retaliation rocks. Until one day there are so many rocks built up, we begin launching them, lashing out, and hurting anyone in their path.

Whether we are exploders or stuffers, one thing I do know, neither approach tends to work out very well in the long run. And our goal throughout this study is to identify our tendencies and begin to make small changes–imperfect progress, so we can handle our emotions with wisdom and grace even when we feel unglued.

So how are you?

Are you behind?

Are you discouraged?

Do you, like me, become unglued?

Join me today over at Tracie’s place today, as we dive into this next chapter in Lysa’s book Unglued. There’s hope when we ban together and seek growth and change in community … really there is.

Won’t you join us?

And if you want to share something from your journey through the book Unglued, please, please, leave a comment or link up with us today!! We can’t wait to hear what’s been happening with you!!

Jacque

What happened when you last become unglued?

And what did you do about it?

Are you an exploder or a stuffer?

Filed Under: (In)couragers, Character, Community, Faith, Unglued Tagged With: character, growth

Unglued {Lesson 3} & (in)couraged to hope Link-up!

October 22, 2012 by Jacque 1 Comment

If there’s anything I’ve realized by tracking my raw emotions and unglued moments this week, it’s that I don’t want to be this way forever–I don’t want to stay the same. As I’ve explored my self-inflicted labels and recognized my exploding and stuffing tendencies, I realize what a mess I really am.

Don’t get me wrong, identifying and logging my tendencies has been half the battle, but even with the knowledge of some strategies, my process of change is so slow … two steps forward and one step back. And it is imperfect progress indeed, which frustrates my perfectionistic-check-off-the-box-so-I’m–a-success personality.

Oh my, I have so far to go.

And I’m realizing how much grace I really need, mostly from my own heart.

Last week was a milestone for me. I was scheduled to speak for the first time to the women at my home church and I had been preparing my talk for weeks. At the last-minute my husband got stuck late at work and I was on my own for the evening, with all the kids in tow. No problem.

So we piled in the car and set off for church in enough time to arrive early. There I was in the car, driving and trying to stay in a reflective and prayerful mode, while my kids failed to get the mommy’s-getting-ready-to-teach-others-the-bible preparation procedure memo.

And despite their loud talking and stuffed-animal role-play animations, I successfully kept my cool. Or so I thought. But unbeknownst to me, I had been stuffing my feelings of frustration and irritation as their loud and obnoxious ride-in-the-car behavior escalated more and more.

There was complaining as I stopped at Home Depot to buy the plant for my talk’s visual aid,

Arguing over whether or not we should go to McDonald’s,

And grouchy lamenting when the worker accidentally gave us Sprite instead of water.

As we pulled out of the drive-thru, the high-pitched imaginary animations escalated even more, and finally I lost it. I came unglued. Over the course of our drive, I had stuffed away retaliation rocks and now had proceeded to catapult them at the kids right there in the car, immediately transforming into an exploder who blames others.

And as bad as that sounds, at least not all was lost. I didn’t yell and I didn’t use insults. But even though I stayed calm, I exploded just the same. And while I explained how much I needed their help to stay in an attitude of preparation to speak to the ladies about Jesus, I blamed them for ruining my atmosphere and making my mommy life so difficult.

Ugh! Progress yes, but imperfect to be sure.

And then I remembered Lysa’s words…

“God doesn’t allow the unglued moments of our lives to happen so we’ll label ourselves and stay stuck. He allows the unglued moments to make us aware of the chiseling that needs to be done. So instead of condemning myself with statements like, I’m such a mess, I could say, let God chisel. Let Him work on my hard places so I can leave the dark places of being stuck and come into the light of who He designed me to be.”

~Unglued p. 37

So as the ladies prayed over me just before the service began, I surrendered my imperfect progress. I let go of my unglued moments, along with my shame, and purposed in my heart to let Him chisel—let Him work on my hard places and make me into who He wants me to be. Because I don’t want to be stuck in my hard places forever.

This week’s lesson is entitled “Four Kinds of Unglued”, and we’ll be diving into session 3 of the participant’s guide and chapters 5 and 6 in the book.

We’ll learn about the two types of exploders and the two types of stuffers, and study their characteristics and tendencies. And while you may discover you have more of a bent toward one type or the other, you may be surprised how you have utilized a bit of each approach depending on the details of your given situation or circumstance.

Throughout the week, not only will we identify our tendencies and track them, we’ll learn how to practice holy restraint…

“Holy restraint is the seed that produces the fruit of self-control.” ~Unglued p. 70

And we’ll discover about “finding the quiet” even if we have to step into a bathroom to do it!

“Bathroom stalls can make great prayer closets.”

~Unglued p.71

As you continue on this week in your journey through Unglued, be encouraged! You are not alone. Tracie and I are walking right alongside you in the thick of the muck and mire, and we are cheering you on!

And now it’s your turn! We can’t wait to hear from you! Nothing would make our sweet-leader hearts happier than to read what’s been happening with you!

So link-up your own post,

or share with us in the comments…