beauty Archives - Jacque Watkins

When You Need to Believe There Can Be Beauty After Pain

April 6, 2013 by Jacque 7 Comments

It is only in the after, that we might see any beauty at all.

After the snow melts. After the rain has come. After the bulb spends months in the dark cold of the ground.

After the leukemia, and the chemo, and the central lines … the hospitalizations, and the procedures that swirl life right down the drain.

After the loss comes, and the funeral music plays, and the long years of grieving begin. After the reminders continually spring up everywhere, mocking that life will never be the same.

It is only in the after, that we might see any beauty at all.

After the the bankruptcy and the moving and the profoundness of the loss. After waiting for a job and wondering how to buy food tomorrow.

After the mistakes and the failure, and the burying weight of guilt and shame that one day will need to be shed. After the dark nights crying, chests heaving, endless nights wondering if we’ll survive even just one more night.

It is only in the after, that we might see any beauty at all.

After the mess. After the pain. After all has come crashing down, and the darkness debilitates and the anger suffocates. Loneliness hangs on and depression hovers like a cloud. All the lost hopes, crushed dreams, and plans laid bare, lying shattered on the floor.

It is only in the after, that the cloud can lift and reveal His view. Beauty from ashes.

We can’t see it in the before … and it is obscure in the now. And even in the after, we may never be able to see the beauty in it, at all.

The scars of our pain will continually remind us and we may never know or understand the why.

But even in the now, we can trust Him … trust in His love and cling to His heart.

We can choose for our desperation to become dependence,

For our pain to become our purpose,

And for our hearts to beat after His.

And one day, in the after, may He give us the gift to see the beauty He brought through it … after all.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,

who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ,

will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:10-11 (ESV)

Looking back, how has God redeemed your suffering?

How has beauty come from your pain?

I’m joining Lisa-Jo, over at her site today, to take five minutes and just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. The challenge is to write for 5 20 minutes flat ~~with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing~~, with the prompt she gives. And today, her prompt:

After…

Filed Under: Adversity, Brokenness, Character, Community, Failure, Faith, Five Minute Friday, God's Mercy & Grace, God's Promises, Grief & Suffering, Guilt & Shame, Hope, Relationships Tagged With: 1 Peter, aching, beauty, brokenness, failing, mercy, shame

Because He Really Does Satisfy with Long Life

August 6, 2012 by Jacque 3 Comments

There’s always one someone to begin the journey … to pave the way for those who follow.

And what a privilege to return home in the late of summer to celebrate her 90th birthday.

Her life has not been perfect; in fact it has been full of suffering…

An alcoholic father, an interrupted education, marrying young, and having lots of babies…

No running water, almost no money, baking from scratch, curing wild game, miscarriages and the loss of babies…

Grieving the loss of parents, contracting polio in her left arm and never being able to raise it after that, and learning to write with her right hand all over again…

Dealing with difficult in-laws, rebellious children, and a foster daughter’s betrayal…

Years of working hard and enduring a challenging and unaffirming marriage…

The death of her spouse, the death of her dogs, the betrayal of close friends, and living alone…

Diabetes, shingles, gout, and medications, a torn rotator cuff, limited right arm mobility and the loss of a driver’s license…

So much to endure and so much to grieve…

But her heart met a Savior all those years ago, and changed her journey through it all … and changed her children too.

Every Sunday she took them to Sunday school. And in the only way she knew how, she instilled in them a love for God, a love for music, and a love of His people. She taught them to work hard, to never be lazy, to reap what you sow and to sow generously.

I remember many Christmases at her house, gifts piled a mile high. How she loved to cook and loved to teach us how too. No one could make pies or biscuits like her and I’m privileged enough to have some of her recipes … recipes scratched out in her own left-handed-turned-right-handed handwriting, indicating a pinch of this and a bit of that, in a way only she could explain in person.

I remember the gospel music she loved and how her little dog would always jump up on her lap with a yip-yap bark that made everyone crazy but her.

I remember how she used to drive with a jerky start-stop, decelerating at the last possible moment and braking with her left foot while keeping her right over the accelerator, ready to go again.

And now at age 90, we meet on a warm August evening to surprise her and celebrate–her children, grand-children, and great-grandchildren all gathering to eat, to talk, to swim and to sing.

Her long life is a gift and together we give thanks, for her and the legacy she began for each of us.

Psalm 91:14-16 (ESV)

Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.

What are you giving thanks for today?

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1561-1575} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with August’s printable.

#1561 A job I love

#1562 Fluffy white clouds in the sky

#1563 The way he looks at me from across the room

#1564 Ministry opportunities to use my gifts

#1565 To read The Story as a church this school year

#1566 Hugs and kisses and tickles on the floor

#1567 Summer movies at the theatre

#1568 Chick-fil-A lunch with our co-op friends

#1569 Homeschool planning

#1570 A Pre-Kindergarten program full of fun

#1571 The San Joaquin valley in the summertime

#1572 A morning chat with my sweet aunt

#1573 A blonde lab and his friendly temperment

#1574 Running 8 miles with my sister

#1575 Time with family and friends

*Linking with Playdates and The Better Mom

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Gratitude, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: aching, beauty, growth, joy, Psalms

When My There Becomes My Next Here {Living in the Present Moment}

August 3, 2012 by Jacque 15 Comments

I want to live in the here, really I do.

Amidst the messes and piles of papers in the office,

Among the toys strewn through every room,

With the dishes piled in the sink because the dishwasher is clean and I haven’t unloaded it,

And the laundry that piles up and calls me from much more important things my heart wants to do.

I want to be present here with my children.

With their playful screams and endless laughter and silly goof-off things they love to do.

To sit on the floor and play a game,

Or sit outside by the pool and watch them swim … or better yet get into the pool right there with them.

But instead, I spend most of my time living in the there.

The there that’s where I want to be…

Striving to check the boxes off my list,

Dreaming of where I’m going, what I’m wanting,

And accomplishing tasks for the next thing.

Or, the there that’s behind me…

the here that I missed…the here that already passed me by.

And why is it I miss the here until it’s gone, and then regret its passing? Why can’t I stop and just be here?

Why must I flitter about like a crazed bee never landing long enough to be present?

Because endlessly chasing the greener grass moment is a sure way to miss the nectar-filled flowers right here.

And you can only taste the nectar if you stop long enough to let it flow.

Sure, it may not always be dripping-honey sweet, and it may not be abundant and overflowing, but with the right presence and pause, it can satisfy.

Living in the here satisfies.

And there’ll be the next flower, with more sweet nectar.

And I can fly when my used-to-be “there” becomes my next “here” and satisfies all over again.

Do you struggle to live in the here?

What is your biggest obstacle?

I’m joining Lisa-Jo, over at her site today, to take five minutes and just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. The challenge is to write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing, with the prompt she gives. And today, her prompt:

Here…

Filed Under: Character, Inspirational, Motherhood Tagged With: beauty, character, failing, growth, realness

Summer VBS Days {One Beautiful Thing}

July 19, 2012 by Jacque 2 Comments

Summer is meant to be full of fun and laughter. A time to refresh and regroup. A time to be carefree. And this summer the kids have had a fabulous time, especially attending VBS.

I have wonderful memories of Vacation Bible School.

Running and playing with friends.

Singing songs with hand motions,

And worshipping God with my whole heart.

Watching puppet shows.

Listening to Bible Stories,

And collecting coins for missions, working as a team to grow a spirit of giving.

My children have enjoyed VBS this year, as we’ve had the privilege to attend at several wonderful churches.

And as I fly far from my kids, this She Speaks weekend, I’m remembering the summer we’re having and I’m giving thanks for it all.

May the seeds that are planted in their hearts this summer, mature and grow to bear beautiful fruit for Him.

Our sweet VBS days … they are my one beautiful thing.

Do you have any Summer VBS memories?

What was your favorite thing about VBS?

Filed Under: Family, Gratitude, Motherhood, One Beautiful Thing Tagged With: beauty, growth

The Summer Sky {One Beautiful Thing}

July 12, 2012 by Jacque 2 Comments

It’s been so hot lately that it’s making the sunrises and sunsets so beautiful!

Tuesday night I came out of a church meeting and was surprised by the beauty of the sunset.

And then the very next morning, as I was leaving for work, I saw this lovely sunrise.

I often seek the beauty around me, but these two scenes found me, and I was captured by their beauty.

Psalm 19:1 (ESV)

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.

The summer sky … my one beautiful thing!

What beauty has captivated you lately?

Filed Under: Gratitude, One Beautiful Thing Tagged With: beauty

The Whimsy of Living in the Now {Giving Thanks for One Beautiful Thing}

June 4, 2012 by Jacque 8 Comments

We walk up the hill in the noon of the day and they walk right beside me. And we near the apple trees in full blossom in the shadow of the mountain there beyond. The poppies dot the hillside with the brilliance of orange, and we stop to take it all in.

Psalm 145:10

All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord, and all your saints shall bless you!

The beauty of God’s creation with the sun shining right down.

The mountains standing tall and framed with the blooms in orange.

The apple trees bursting with hope of the fall fruit to come.

The innocence of her smile.

Her hair in the wind.

The cadence of her gait as she runs through the grass.

The curiosity of her hands.

The freedom as they run and play and live right here, right now, without a care in the world.

No worry to be found.

Just the mountain, with the sun and the wind and the poppies right there.

The bend of his head and the intensity of his gaze.

The whimsy of her twirls as she flys in the wind.

To witness the beauty of creation giving thanks, and to join in too, blessing our God who made it all.

What we see and how we feel and what we do, all meant to bless His name.

We capture it all, all in this moment … giving thanks as one beautiful thing.

May you seek the whimsy of the now and give thanks for all that’s right before you. And may your week be full of God’s beauty, and the joy that comes from His presence.

What are you giving thanks for today?

Continuing on, in the counting of One Thousand Gifts {#1466-1485} with Ann and this community, and the Joy Dare of 2012…with June’s printable.

#1466 Afternoons swimming and splashing and getting better at swimming every day

#1467 A fever finally broken

#1468 The end of his sophomore year (where has the time gone?)

#1469 Couple’s date night with an inrl blogging friend

#1470 Children playing imaginative games and creating as they go along

#1471 A husband who’s smarter than me

#1472 Podcasts changing my world and challenging my heart

#1473 Hot showers and cozy pajamas and soft sheets at the end of a long day

#1474 No traffic to work

#1475 Refreshing frozen yogurt treats

#1476 Haircuts for all

#1477 A group of women learning to read and journal and memorize and give thanks … such a beautiful thing

#1478 God’s correction and timing and provision all at once

#1479 New opportunities and adventures awaiting

#1480 An impromptu visit and slowing down to be present in the now

#1481 Taco salad with Doritos on top

#1482 Rinsing and repeating the Sermon on the Mount with the kids

#1483 Dreaming of vacation possibilities

#1484 New books arriving

#1485 Mercies new every single morning for this wretched heart of mine

Filed Under: Family, Gratitude, One Beautiful Thing, One Thousand Gifts Tagged With: beauty, grateful, joy, mountains, thanks

A Captured Moment in Time {One Beautiful Thing}

May 31, 2012 by Jacque 5 Comments

We sat at the little league game and she asked to sit on my lap, my youngest child who seems to be growing by the minute. And she climbed up and took my phone and opened all the pictures, as she always does.

This daughter of mine who always likes to remember–the one who likes to review the memories no matter how many times she’s seen them before. And I’m just like her. Maybe she gets it from me? Wanting to capture the moments in the now and sear them in my mind so I will always remember.

And pictures do that, don’t they?

And so … we opened the camera on that phone of mine, flipped the view to self-portrait, and took a picture. Just one picture. One I thought would be like the rest of the pictures she takes…blurred or crooked or just not usable.

But this one…this ONE picture captured her in this moment–this moment of 4 1/2. This stage of wanting to sit on my lap and cuddle together … of hugging my neck and saying nice encouraging words in my ear to make my heart feel like the most amazing person on the planet.

This … THIS … my one beautiful thing.

May you look, see, and find the beauty right before you and breathe it in deep, is my prayer.

What is your one beautiful thing today?

I’d love for you to share!

**Linking with my friend Brooke and the community of others who are being surprised by life as they take note and link up about their one beautiful thing!

Filed Under: Family, Motherhood, One Beautiful Thing Tagged With: beauty, grateful, motherhood, thanks

Tea With Friends {One Beautiful Thing}

May 26, 2012 by Jacque 1 Comment

I’m so thrilled to be linking with my friend Brooke over at her place today, to share in her community there and join them in their search every week for one beautiful thing…

We met at a lovely old farmhouse, with quaint decorations, antiques all around, and enough charm for every heart.

And there were scones and jam and lemon curd and cream.

Soup and sandwiches and fruit bright and fresh.

Lemon bars and cupcakes,

And quiche with pots of tea.

And the teacups sat in beauty just waiting to be full.

But most of all there were my friends gathered there, laughing and talking and giving thanks for it all … One Beautiful Thing.

Psalm 27:4 (NASB)

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord…

May you notice wonder this weekend, and experience the joy of beautiful things.

What one beautiful thing did you experience this week?

Filed Under: Community, Friendship, One Beautiful Thing Tagged With: beauty, friendship, thanks

Labor & Delivery :: A Sacred Opportunity

May 25, 2012 by Jacque 5 Comments

Dr. Sanchez & me with Julianne's baby Noah!

I’m a registered nurse in labor and delivery, and I love my job. (And shhh…don’t tell them, but I’d do it for free.)

What an amazing opportunity to be present at an event that changes lives forever.

To help a woman say hello to her baby, or to have the sacred privilege of helping her say goodbye.

To help her get adjusted and settled into her room.

To talk her through the policies and procedures and hear all about what she wants her experience to be.

To listen and laugh and get to know a family.

To help her through pain.

To explain her options and support her choices.

And to help her work and push and see her baby.

It is breathtaking each and every time.

And I stand in the delivery room wearing my blue scrubs, holding my black pen, and typing my notes on the computer … because I’m the nurse and I’ve got my work to do.

But no matter what work is before me, when the moment of birth comes—this opportunity to witness the emerging of new life …

It stops me for a moment.

I’m still. And I’m moved, without fail,

Every. Single. Time.

Have you witnessed the miracle of birth?

Do you remember your labor & delivery nurse?

What was the most memorable thing she did for you?

I’d love to hear your story!

Opportunity…

Also, Linking with The Better Mom…

Photo credit: Julianne Florez, RN

Filed Under: Five Minute Friday, Motherhood Tagged With: beauty, hope, joy, motherhood, thanks

What Community Can Look Like, (in)RL

May 3, 2012 by Jacque 12 Comments

Every human heart longs for connection…

to be heard and understood,

to feel wanted and valued,

to learn from another and give in return,

And I know it’s true for me.

And while that longing can be met amidst intermittent interactions and online connections, there’s nothing like lingering in real life…

Nothing like taking the time to pause and sit face to face,

Nothing like sharing and laughing and learning together,

Because it gives life to our bones, and refreshment to our spirits.

Community can sometimes be hurtful, but when done in the way God has designed, it can transform our weary hearts.

And thanks to (in)courage and their God-sized dream, we experienced community last weekend, in real life!

I hosted our own in-real-life meetup…a night of fun and connection face to face, potluck-style, with taco salad and iced tea on the patio. With chatting and laughing and lingering at sunset. We slowed down to be present and feel the breeze blow in–the breeze that blew all our candles out! But the most refreshing breeze fell on our souls as we shared in community and authentic friendship.

We ate angel food cake with strawberries and taught each other about Twitter and Instagram and hashtags. We heard the story of how (in)courage was born and we spoke of how a small dream can really become a big reality.

Thank you sweet friends for an amazing evening of friendship…

…and enormous thanks to Lisa Jo, (in)courage, and Dayspring, for their dream realized … in real life!

You can check out the photos, Instagram pictures and posts about all the other (in)RL meet-ups all around the world! And if you missed (in)RL, you can order the DVD set or get a t-shirt anytime too!