When Mercy Found Me {Day 12} Redeemed :: Part 2

{Click here to read Part 1}

God uses even the most broken vessels to shine His light through their cracks, reflecting His love to the world.

As I returned to my cabin, my steps felt lighter. And it’s amazing how three hours alone with God can begin to set a heart free!

I met up with the ladies, and as we made our way to dinner, I had no idea what was in store.

We passed around the salad and the bread, and as the main dish arrived I couldn’t believe how the conversation spontaneously turned toward marriage again.

And then, it happened.

One of the ten women flung open the transparency door, in which I’d left a crack, the night before. And without hesitation she blurted,

“Jacque … why did you get divorced?”

And while the timing of the question was a surprise, for me, the answer was not difficult. I had answered that question so many times, always giving the “pat answer” to avoid all the details.

“We married young … came to an impasse … and over time…”

But as I gave the generic reply I felt the nudge inside my heart, “Tell your story”.

But I argued …  and my internal rationalizations ravaged on.

When dinner ended, no sooner had I walked out of the dining hall, she ran after me,

“Can we talk?”

“Of course,” I said,

And I felt the nudge again, “Tell your story” … and still I argued, hesitated, hemmed and hawed.

She continued to talk over my conflicted internal dialogue, sharing her story, which was surprisingly similar to mine.

For whatever reason, she was confiding in me, trusting me, and asking for my advice …  begging for help with her situation.

“God appoints people who do disappoint – to point to a God who never disappoints.”

~Ann Voskamp

Reluctantly, I agreed to meet her back at her cabin, so we could privately talk.

I changed into my cozy clothes and walked over. But when she opened the door, I was surprised to find all her roommates there too–even Vicky, who didn’t even know Jesus.

Was I really supposed to share with them all? Fear set in and doubt began to choke me. But the impression was clear. I knew it was Him, and I was determined to obey.

I shared my story that night, raw and unedited, spontaneous and unrehearsed. It was a very late night–one I hoped I wouldn’t regret.

The retreat concluded the next morning with a salvation message and communion. It had been a life-changing weekend for me–opening the door to transparency, listening to God’s voice, and obeying. God is so good and gratitude filled my heart for how He met me in that meadow—how I was going home changed.

As we were gathering our things, and preparing to drive down the mountain, Vicky approached me and asked if we could talk.

My stomach began to do flips.

Had my story disappointed her?

Had my failure killed her hope?

We walked a bit down the path and then she just said it, plain as day,

“I accepted Jesus this morning…”

I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Really? Vicky. That’s wonderful!”

And after a long congratulatory hug, she profusely thanked me for sharing my story, because for her, it had changed everything.

And what if our stories, our very lives, are made for just that … to change everything? ← Tweet That

For so long she’d been torn about choosing Jesus, thinking she needed to have everything “sorted out” and her life “cleaned up” and “together” first. She’d been waiting for the right time—waiting so long.

But because of my story,

Because of my failure,

Because of God’s ability to make even me new,

She now realized she didn’t have to “have it all together” or “be perfect with everything in order” before she could accept Christ.

Because of what God had done for me, she knew He could do it for her too … even now.

I froze right there, speechless and in awe—our God weaving and working in ways that could only be Him.

I hugged her goodbye, so humbled.

It had been all Him … ALL Him, through broken me–broken and shattered by my own choices, now being mended and remade by His. ← Tweet that

Not just to be forgiven, but to be used as a vessel for Kingdom work of eternal value.

I was changed.

Forgiving myself was the hardest of all, not because God’s mercy was not immediate, or His grace lacked abundance, I was simply a poor recipient of His grace.

To not forgive my own heart when He already had, degraded what He had done for me. And that realization changed everything.

He knows everything. He has forgiven us. And God is greater than our heart.

So friend, today, won’t you let it go?

Set your heart free?

He longs to make all things new.

Because even when we make a mess of our lives…There is nothing too messy for Him.

Nothing too undone for Him to restore.

Nothing too broken for Him to repair,

And nothing so wasted He will not redeem.

NOTHING.

When mercy found me, yes, I was changed. But the fullness of the work God wants to do in our hearts is really a daily life-long process, allowing ourselves to be found by His mercy over and over again.

Mercy Found Me…

And I’m longing for it to find you too…

In whatever brokenness you endure,

Whatever mud through which you wade,

As you look to Him and surrender,

I promise. 

Just watch and see, it will not be … unredeemed.

How did mercy find you?

What are you longing for God to redeem?

How can I pray for you?

To read ALL posts in this series, When Mercy Found Me ←click here

Unredeemed

 Photo Credit: Yug_and_her, Flickr Creative Commons