Sometimes you don’t realize the magnificence of your mother’s love until you become one. Sometimes you overlook her intentions, minimize her concerns, and disregard her approach because you think you’ve “got this”.
And I am guilty as charged.
As a daughter, I complained about the food she made, neglected her concerns, looked down upon her style, and in general, was a self-centered twenty-something who thought I had all the answers. Maybe you were too?
But everything changed when I delivered that first baby—my identity, my purpose, my plan for it all. It transformed my world in ways I never knew possible. And I suddenly found myself staring square in the face of uncertainty, more unsure than ever before that I “had this”.
And although the 20-week Bradley class made me think I was prepared, what can ever possibly prepare you for motherhood? Only someone who’s never been a mother could actually think you could be prepared.
Not only was I not prepared for the physical tasks of caring for children, I was not AT ALL prepared for the emotional feelings I would have for this new little person—this tiny baby who only a few months ago was a dream in my heart. The sheer idea that I was solely responsible for this little life shocked and overwhelmed me.
And suddenly I realized…I was THIS in her life. I was MY mother’s first baby.
I was the one who broke her in to this whole motherhood deal.
I was the one who caused her heart to be filled up with love.
Because of me, her own identity changed all those years ago when she became a mother.
Everything I was feeling for my baby, she had felt for me. And it’s like someone turned on a light bulb, and I could SEE something I’d never even thought of before. How completely clueless I had been! And maybe this is why they say it’s in your late 20’s your parents suddenly become so smart.
And now, as a mother myself, I know how deep a mother’s love is.
I can only imagine how hard it has been to be my mom over the years…
To have to step back and not control me at times, resisting the urge to micromanage,
To give me freedom to hold my own opinions without shutting me down … even though you could see the immaturity of my thinking along the way,
To watch me think I “had this” when you knew I was nowhere close,
To witness me make poor decisions and endure the painful consequences of my choices,
And to allow me to fail, and learn from my own mistakes—a process you knew would make the lessons stick all the more.
When it’s time to watch them flounder and find their own way,
When it’s time to watch them think they’ve “got this” but I know they SO don’t,
I’m praying for the grace to be able to selflessly stand still and wait. I want to give them the space they need, while staying near for when they’re ready—when they decide I’m suddenly smarter than they’d realized.
And so, this Mother’s Day, I say thank you Mom! I want you to know, at 41, I’m finally beginning to “get it”.
And although there’s an unspoken assurance you already know, I must tell you aloud anyway…
Thank you for your love through the years.
Thank you for inspiring me.
Thank you for your patience and belief in me.
And thank you for your assistance helping me become the mother I am.
Just Thank You. Thank you for being my Mom!
Happy Mother’s Day!
With ALL my love,
How has your mom inspired you to be a more magnificent mother?